


And It Was Just Them

by shrekanddonkey



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, BAMF Jaime Lannister, Badass Cersei Lannister, Cersei is confused, Don’t copy to another site, Drunk Cersei Lannister, Female Harry Potter, Femslash, Harry is too sassy for Westeros’ shit, House Lannister, I don’t know what this is, Minor Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Powerful Harry, Slow Burn, Tywin Lannister's A+ Parenting, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2020-05-13 16:01:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19254487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrekanddonkey/pseuds/shrekanddonkey
Summary: Harry is reborn in Westeros as the legitimised bastard of Robert Baratheon. The more powerful she becomes, the clearer it is that she will live her life, change Westeros, in her own way. Shame for everyone that it most certainly involves the Lannisters. Not that the family in question’s complaining.





	1. To get back

**Author's Note:**

> Hi anyone reading! This is a story I've started cause it wouldn't leave me alone, and I hadn't really seen anything similar to what I wanted to do so hopefully it works! Basically I saw so many Harry in Westeros fics, but there are much less fem!Harry ones, so I thought I'd make this because WHY NOT YA
> 
> Also I thought it would be an interesting concept if Harry was on the side of the Lannisters, though the bond she'll eventually have with them will be a slow burn. I plan on making it Cersei/Harry, but it will take time since Cersei is not the best person to have an actual loving relationship with if you're not part of the fam (or even if you are) and Harry needs to grow cause underage! is not Harry. Also medium!Harry, who will eventually regain her magic  
> Will be slight redemption!Cersei as well, also more based off the show 
> 
> Hope you like it! XX

The world had changed.

Sprinting though the trees, Harry, now known as Lilith, allowed herself to focus on this thought, her inner struggles finally able to flow throughout her mind like leaves in the wind. But Lilith couldn’t fault herself for the panic she felt that swelled up deep within her chest, or the short and frantic breaths that threatened to take over her body.

The world had changed. And she wanted to go home.

“Lily! Wait!” Shrieked a familiar, light voice from behind her. Lilith turned around and smiled, perking up when she was able to free herself from her chaotic mind.

 “You’ve gotten better at catching up with me, Myrcella. Perhaps in a few years you’ll be as fast as me”. Lilith watched as her half-sister’s cheeks coloured and her pretty laughter echoed through the trees, as Myrcella finally jogged up to the young witch, now both in line with one another. Sister next to sister.

It was surreal, having a sister. Well, the whole situation Lilith was in would not be considered normal. Waking up in this land as little more than an infant, that with memories of a past life, had been…well a _surprising_ ordeal, to say the least. When she had initially opened her wide, green eyes in her new world, for a split second she had hoped she was restarting her old life, that she could correct her past. Save the lives lost in the war. Shame it was a world filled with people dressed almost medievally, elaborate hairstyles and a completely different language to her modern English.

But she was Harriet Potter, she had adapted before, she could do so again. And she had.

Tugging on her curls, her sister snapped her out of her reverie. “Come back Lily”, her little sister whined, always showing her frustration when her older sister would crawl into her mind. Lilith gave her a soft smile. She wanted to go home, but perhaps she would take Myrcella with her. And Tommen of course.

One day. When she found out how to actually leave.

“It’s beautiful out here”, Lilith noted, taking in the green and all the trees surrounding them like a warm embrace. Calming too, almost as if she was in a bubble that would keep all the darkness and gloom in this world at bay. The confines of being a woman in this society, this _wrong_  in this place that would not allow her to breathe, gone in these quiet moments.

“It’s _scary_ ". Myrcella corrected, looking around her as if she had seen the horrors of the woods for the first time. “And mother will be looking for me soon. She’ll get angry if she knows you took me here. I hate it when she's angry with you”.

“Mayhaps you should not have come with me than", Lilith gently reprimanded. "And anyways, the Queen doesn’t scare me, 'Cella”. And it was true. Her stepmother may have threatened her on past occasions, but she was all bark, with very little bite, if ever. And besides, she had defeated a basilisk, endured Umbridge, fought in a _war_ , faced _Tom_.

A bitter woman glaring at her from a distance. Idle threats.  _Please_.

“Well, _I_ don’t want to get into trouble! It may also rain, and I don’t want to ruin my new dress! Please, Lily, let's go home". 

The former chosen one hadn’t the heart to tell her half-sister that the back of her dress was already covered in mud, so she just smiled, gave Myrcella her hand, and tugged her to walk with her back to King’s Landing.

Not her home, though. Never her home.

 

==============================================================================================================

 

As it turned out, Lily and Myrcella’s hour long dash into the woods had quite the impact, with there apparently being _search parties_ for the young princess and the legitimised bastard. The young witch had to refrain from rolling her eyes, _search parties,_ Merlin, how _dramatic_.

After the two girls managed to convince the guards standing at the gate, that _yes, they were the daughters of Robert Baratheon that had gone missing not two hours ago_ , and _of course they needed to see their beloved father to tell him of their safety_ , they were escorted by a group of guards who sent Myrcella to her chambers under the orders of the Queen, and Lily to a bench near the throne room. Where the King would be waiting, to talk to her. Presumably after he'd finished with his whores, or wine. Mayhaps both.

Shivering from that grim thought, Lilith sat on the bench silently, idly picking at her dirty nails and wondering why her father wanted to talk to her. They'd spoken this morning already, having the long awaited chat of the betrothal situation. Robert Baratheon had assumed his now legitimised bastard daughter would be keen to be married to a simple lord. Move to his land. Produce him little heirs.

To say Lilith had taken the chat badly would be an understatement.  

Besides, Robert never took Lilith's actions seriously, more amused by them if anything. They may not have been particularly close, but she did enjoy when he laughed at something she did, proud that she managed to interest the King. He was her father, after all (not her real one though, Merlin she wanted to go home-)

"You're thinkin' too much, little girl". Immediately, Lilith's mood brightened, turning from facing her nails to the much more interesting maid Sabyne, standing in front of her in greetings.

The young girl’s bored visage formed into a genuine smile. Sabyne was one of the few maids who actually spoke to Harry as if she was a normal human being, none of that royalty bollocks that was lately pissing the young witch off more than usual. “The castle’s talkin ‘bout you n the little one’s nonsense, goin' to the woods n' comin' out all muddy. The bards’ll right songs”, she teased.

"Sabyne", Lilith greeted, "Hello. I would ask you to sit with me, but I'm afraid you'll slip through the chair". Ah, yes, and Sabyne was a ghost. That was a new development in this life of hers, one that she tried not to think about too much. No one could see what she could, how the spirits would be drawn to her, and her to them. It frightened Lilith a few years ago, feeling so lonely in Westeros with the translucent dead speaking to her when she wanted to be alone. Now she welcomed it.

It was all she seemed to have left of her magic.

And, when looking at the glass half full, Sabyne was funny. She had made her laugh on many occasions, including times where she really, _really_ shouldn't have.

"Funny girl you are", the maid remarked. "Hello? What silly language are you inventing now?"

"Hello was a greeting used in my world. That or 'hi', or 'what's cookin good lookin?'".

"Well now you're being a right little liar, you are". Sabyne rested her hands on her hips in mock disapproval.

"Lilith, duckling". Both the maid and the girl froze, and Lilith internally groaned, once again being interrupted from her thoughts. But this time it was by a woman whom Lilith would never smile for, someone who would never make her laugh. Briefly, the former witch wondered what she had done in her past life to deserve seeing this woman on a daily basis.

Not that Cersei Lannister was unappealing to look at. No, the Queen was the most beautiful woman Lily had ever met, shining golden locks that travelled down to her waist. Eyes the most vivid emerald she had encountered besides her own bright green orbs. Face heart shaped and straight white teeth. No, the Queen did not curse anyone with her appearance.

It was her personality that was shit.

With a wink, Sabyne left her to endure her fate in wasting her time talking to this woman, the Queen who barely spoke to her let alone walk in her direction.

The Queen approached her with a group of guards following straight behind, all dressed in silver armour. She wore a red dress that flowed down to her feet, and her hair was styled in carefully arranged braids that framed her face. She had a fake smile strapped on that Lilith didn't believe for a second.

Now she stood in front of her, seemingly analysing her appearance as if trying to see what she was thinking. What Lily told Myrcella was true; she wasn't afraid of her. But there were times when the Queen unnerved her, having the demeanour that she was superior, that she knew what Lilith was thinking and didn't care in the slightest. Briefly, the witch was reminded of Draco.

"Myrcella told me it was her idea to venture off into the woods, and that you seemingly obliged", the Queen started, gently laying her hand on Lilith's shoulders. "It is a mother's gift, however, to known when their child is lying".

Lily nodded. "It was me, your Grace. I wanted to go, and Myrcella wanted to spend time with me. If you want to place anger on someone, do so on me. I accept full responsibility."

The Queen hummed, bringing her other hand to Lilith's cheek. After a few seconds of staring at the young girl, her fingers on Lily's face squeezed, and the grip on her shoulder tightened.

"If you ever endanger my daughter again, I will have my men slit your throat and feed your eyes to the crows. Is that understood, duckling?", she near whispered, all the while looking directly at her step daughter's eyes, green meeting green. 

Lilith did not cower. "I understand your Grace. Though seeing how Myrcella's life is currently safe, I suggest you remove your hands from me." She hated bullies, and the blonde beauty had done nothing in Lilith's years to present herself as anything but. _Evil stepmother indeed._

Cersei gazed at her for a moment longer, a slight sneer on her lips, before slowly bringing her hands to her sides, and stepping back. It was clear she was not scared of Lily, but she was sure she unsettled her quite a bit.

They held a similar impact on one another.

"The King requests to speak to you in private," she gestured towards the one of the guards, and, allowing her lips to form into a smirk, said "Enjoy, _duckling_." She turned, leaving the guards to follow her in her wake, and Lilith to step next to the chosen guard as they made their way towards the throne room.

_She wanted to go home._

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it!! It’s gonna be a looong ride, since Cersei immediately falling in love with a teenager is not up her street. 
> 
> Comment your thoughts! I love reviews as much as Cersei loves drinking wine while looking out a window.


	2. Robert Baratheon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lilith finds her dad is a bit of a knob. And Myrcella is Myrcella.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thank you so much for the kudos and views! Warms me heart. Honestly I'm just doing this story for my own amusement, but I'm so thrilled people have enjoyed it!
> 
> Anywaysss, this chapter is more development and beginnings of PLOT! YAY!  
> No Cersei tho, but we'll see her next chapter along with Jaime
> 
> I've got the first few chapters basically sorted so they'll be coming through for the next few days
> 
> Hope you like it XX

The throne room was open and spacious, ornate and beautiful. Pillars surrounded the sides of the hall in intricate patterns, and a stain glass window was placed at the back of the room, its light descending upon the hall. To Lilith it looked like an eye, ever watching, and it never failed to make the former witch shiver. On both sides of the room were members of the Kingsguard, with Lily recognising Barristan Selmy, and of course, Jaime Lannister. But it was in between the guards, underneath the stain glass that caught Lilith’s attention. The throne itself was silver and menacing, made from melted swords which stuck out of the chair as if warning anyone who dared approach it. It was menacing, and exuded power from its appearance alone. And on it sat her father.

Briefly, she wondered why he had legitimised her. She had done nothing to warrant it.

“Daughter”, the man’s face visibly brightened, “Come, stand before me, girl.” She walked towards him, and now the only thing between the two were the stairs that led up to his throne. It was a new sensation, having a father. Well, Lilith revised, a father who was alive. Perhaps after the war the witch had grown somewhat _cold_ towards others she didn’t know, didn’t trust, but her profound want for a father figure remained. Her desire for family still struck a chord deep in her heart: someone who would love her unconditionally because she was a _part_ of them. It was something she envied in both Ron and Hermione, their relationships with their families were so overwhelmingly beautiful to Lily. Lilith thought she had found that familial bound with Sirius. Had tasted a hint of its flavour when the resurrection stone had shown her James. Now, she was given _Robert_.

The King was, and no ounce of Lily felt regret for thinking this, a loser. When he wasn’t with a group of whores at _least_ once a day, he was drinking, eating or hunting. His children were essentially an afterthought, his wife an annoyance, and his subjects irrelevant. While he seemed to enjoy Lilith’s company when he occasionally spent time with her, their bond was never what she had hoped, what that small part of her had dreamed of.

Merlin, she missed Sirius.

“They’ve been saying you tried to fuck off”. He started. “That King’s Landing wasn’t wetting your knickers.” Ah, Lilith realised, he’d already been drinking.

“Can’t say I blame you”, the King continued. “We’re surrounded by fucking vultures. I shit and piss and drink and fuck and it doesn’t get rid of the sense of being watched. Snakes, vultures, whatever the fuck you want to call them”. His glance towards Ser Jaime was pointed.

“Still, no excuse though, you got duties, same as the rest of us. Missed your sowing lesson, I heard”.

And Lilith could not give less of a shit.

“I was just running, father. Had I known the Keep would be in disarray, I would have left a note explaining my absence.” Lilith replied while absentmindedly picking at a stray seam on the sleeve of her dress.

“A _note_ , she says.” He boomed with laughter, causing Lilith to wearily eye the belt he wore around his trousers that clearly threatened to snap. Once he finished with his mirth, he grew silent, looking at her. It seemed everyone was out to analyse her these days, to find out what she was thinking. _They could always just ask_ , Lilith thought, internally rolling her eyes at the antics of those in her life.

“Doesn’t matter either way, girl. Your childish activities have amused me in the past, yes. But you’re five and ten years of age now. Running in the woods when shit doesn’t go your way? And here I thought you were my daughter.”

And what could Lily say to that? She remained silent and looked at the throne rather than him, not allowing her father to see the guilt in her eyes that he had oh so obviously intended to create.

He continued. “Since your tantrum this morning, we’ve been thinking of who’ll be the lucky man to plonk his face in your tits. The destination of the suitors is important, see. Jon thought of Dorne, but I’m not sending my daughter to a fucking _desert_. Winterfell was an option, but Ned deserves better than his boy marrying a former bastard. And then, I thought, House Bolton could work. They’ve got a bastard themselves, but Domeric Bolton seems the better fit for you. Thought to let you know, seeing as how _over the fucking moon_ you were when you heard of a betrothal.” He snapped his fingers, and a serving boy who Lilith hadn’t even clocked being there appeared, handing him a goblet of wine that Robert quickly took and gulped down.

“Do I not get a say in this?” She asked cautiously, of course aware of the answer, but needing to hear the words come out of his mouth anyways.

“A say in this”, he echoed while further slouching on the chair, looking exhausted from the _heavily straining conversation_. “Alright, let’s hear it then. Who does the great Lilith Baratheon want to bend over for?”

“What if I said no one?” The words tumbled out her mouth without her consent.

“No one! Planning on being a spinster then? A noble spinster.”

“Well I wouldn’t mind that”, she commented idly. In for a penny, in for a pound. “But what I meant was that mayhaps I could meet my suitors, and decide for myself.”

The King’s mood visibly began to sour. “That’s not how this works, girl.”

“But it’s a practical system.” She tried to be as diplomatic as possible, knowing Robert reacted to aggression with aggression. “If I marry someone who is less adverse to contemplating sharing, mayhaps I too can help with financial matters. There could be a chance I can sway trade to allow it to benefit your interests, it may even be for the kingdoms”-

“Enough!” Robert snapped, halting Lilith’s plans as if his ears would bleed if she continued. “That can easily be arranged in negotiations. You are not the one in charge here. You will marry who _I_ choose because _I_ will it. You’ve got a cunt, so _I_ choose what nobleman gets to go inside it. You are the only bastard of mine to have been legitimised, and you parade around like the kingdom like a spoilt brat, wanting the fucking world cause of that _damned ego_ of yours. Want some advice from your father. From the King? Deal with the life you’ve been given, girl, cause it’s the only one you’ll have”.

 

==============================================================================================================

 

Going into her chambers to throw something, hit something, _Merlin, the Kingdom’s out to make me mad_ , she was surprised to find Mrycella in her room, looking almost sheepish. Lilith sighed, this meant she had done something she wasn’t supposed to do. And Lilith was in no mood to aid her, not when she was fuming to the point of her hands shaking, her chest constricting in attempts to prevent her _screaming_.

“Mother said I shouldn’t be around you anymore. That I should stay away from you and never talk to you again.”

Her heart dropped, all other matters going to the back of her brain so instantly it almost gave her whiplash. Myrcella was her sister, _this was the cherry on top of all this shit, wasn’t it._ Her heart further sunk. She nodded once, shortly. “I understand ‘Cella”-

“No, _mother_ says I shouldn’t be around you. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop.” And then her heart threatened to burst out her chest, her frown growing into the first smile she had had since her conversation with Robert.

“I love mother”, Myrcella began, placing her hands on her hips in a form of mutiny. “But she is too harsh with you! Even when I told her you gave me extra cake on Tommen’s name day when you _know_ how much I love cake.”

“Well that may not have been the best example to win the Queen ov”-

“And I told her of the time I tripped and my knee bled which really hurt, and you washed it yourself and cheered me up by singing funny songs! And teaching me to dance! What was the dance called again?”

Lilith felt her face heating, “You mean the _Y.M.C.A._?”

“Yes, that one! But when I did the dance to mother she looked irritated and told me women were not supposed to look like savages.”

Lilith grinned. “Maybe she was jealous that she didn’t know the dance.”

“Maybe you should teach her it”, Myrcella laughed, wrapping her arms around Lilith’s back as she squeezed her older sister in an embrace. Lilith chuckled, leaning down to place a kiss on her sister’s head. Her life may have thrown her many a hurdle, but Myrcella was definitely an apology gift from whatever gods had fucked with her.

“’Cella, that sounds like a _wonderful_ idea”.

======================================================================

After Myrcella had managed to slip out Lilith’s room undetected (acting as if she were some sort of spy, _Merlin_ it was endearing), Lily decided that her chambers were magnificently dull in her sister’s absence. The spirits seemed to have decided that an angry Lilith was not a pleasant Lilith, so they let her be (Sabyne sat with her for a while until she realised she wouldn’t get anything out of the former witch.) Lily decided to sit on her balcony, watching the stars glimmer in the pitch night sky. They twinkled every few seconds almost as if greeting anyone who looked at them, and the cool breeze wrapped around her small form like a blanket. It was moments like this when she truly appreciated this world, all the beauty being offered to the former bastard as if there was an entity selling the positive aspects of staying in Westeros.

It was almost enough to stay. Almost.

But Lilith had plans now, the talk with Robert only solidifying the execution of it. The library in King’s Landing offered her fuck all, with the closest she got to finding something magical was a book on dragons, and they were extinct. And also, Lilith knew she couldn’t just fly a dragon to another world, she had _some_ semblance of logic in her brain. No, what she needed was to find someone with magical properties, someone who would explain to her why she was here, and how she could fix it. Of course she knew this would be a challenge, but this world had seen dragons, witches, all that the wizarding world had offered. If there was someone who could step her in the right direction to her home, Lilith would find them. She wanted to go home, so she needed to do _something_ about it.

Robert was right. She would no longer complain, she would do something about it. Whining offered nothing.

A knock at her door brought her out of her trance, causing Lilith confusion as to who it could have been. Myrcella never knocked, Tommen tapped the door lightly as if expecting his sister’s hearing to be _extremely_ impressive, and the few occasions she had Joffrey in her rooms usually involved The Hound barging the door open with unnecessary force. And of course, the ghosts, but they knew when she was not emotionally prepared to deal with their shite.

Except Sabyne. That woman had no boundaries.

Lilith came to the door slowly, possibly hoping that whoever it was would tire of waiting and leave. The girl opened it and, to her surprise, found one of the men in her father’s council at her door. Varys, she believed his name was. She immediately took his visit seriously, Lilith knew power when she was in its presence.

“Lord Varys”, she greeted, unsure as to why this was happening. “Are you…lost?”

He gave her a small smile. “Not at all, my lady. I apologise for the lateness of my visit, but I had hoped to speak to you at an hour that was for our ears alone. I was wondering if I would have the pleasure of a conversation through the gardens. Though, after hearing of your sprint in the woods, I am afraid I will not be able to move at the same speed your abilities would favour.”

Well this was odd. She had the strong suspicion he was not a murderer, and it was not so late at night for his presence to be worrying, but it was still odd. And, of course, a piss poor attempt at subtle manipulation. Flattering a person with their expert ‘abilities’, textbook shite right there. But he did not seem malicious, and Lilith was too curious to let this offer pass, to find out what this man set out to achieve this evening, with less eyes to watch them.

“A walk would be lovely.” She smiled, leaving her room, shutting her door with ease, and linking her arm with his in one smooth motion.

The first few minutes of their journey to the gardens were silent. Lilith had nothing to say to break the ice, and it seemed Varys had no plans to speak until they were at his perceived ‘right destination’. Or perhaps they were playing a cat and mouse game, and whoever spoke first would hold less power over the other.

Lilith wasn’t about to lose in that regard.

“This conversation is nothing of importance, my Lady.” Varys began to speak, staring straight ahead of him as the words flowed from his mouth in carefully controlled sentences. _A lie, obviously, if they had to travel to a private area at night for him to make this point,_ Lily frowned. “It is apparent that your recent legitimisation suggests you are more a player in this game than initially thought. That, combined with your well-known intelligence, makes you more powerful than you know.”

Well-known intelligence? She was a subject of gossip?

“I wouldn’t jump to that conclusion just yet, Lord Varys. I may have been granted an education that few have had”, (internal smirk, he had no idea), “and I may no longer be a bastard, but I’m not a key player in this game you speak of. And I don’t want to be.” To an extent, this was true.

Varys hummed. “I would not presume to know what you want, my lady. My presence here with you tonight is to tell you that you have allies. I have heard of the Queen’s…distaste for you, and the growing disunity of you and your father, but I am not them. I hope to be someone that you can grow to confide in.”

Now Lilith huffed. “I do not think that I can ever trust someone so prominent in court, Lord Varys.” A small smile formed on the man’s visage. “Good. I would not trust anyone in this place, Lady Lilith. Especially the likes of me. But confiding in someone and trusting someone do not necessarily have to fall into one another. Mayhaps you shall see this, or I can prove it to you, though all in good time.”

She pondered the words he had said, analysing every word to heart. And then she froze. Lilith had an idea.

“How about you prove it to me now. Lord Varys, tell me, what do you know of _magic_ in Westeros?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love it? Hate it? Want me and my laptop to go to hell? Comment your opinion, I love feedback!
> 
> See ya later XX


	3. The Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lilith has a plan. And Cersei exists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so flattered by the response, thank you so much everyone who has read this and is hopping along for the ride! Hope you guys like this chapter, the plot has begun haHA

It was as if she was talking to a completely different person. Varys’ whole body tensed, his demeanour shifted from a welcoming and seemingly friendly man to a cold and frosty individual. It was his eyes that showed the biggest change, though. They assessed Lilith, looking down at her like she was not the same girl a mere ten seconds ago.

“And why would you have any interest in the…mystical arts, my lady?” He questioned, his once inviting tone now closed off and deadpan.

Lilith frowned, unnerved by the sudden change. “I meant no offence, Lord Varys. I have simply always been curious of magic in Westeros; dragons, witches. It fascinates me that there is so much in the world that is unknown, that is beyond even the control of the most powerful beings.” None of this was a lie, Lily found. Living with Petunia and Vernon meant that she always wished for something more in life, be it from a loving family to a change in the tedious, endless pit of chores, and a cupboard under the stairs. Learning of magic was a gift in itself; that life wasn’t as boring as she thought it would be.

Realising she was currently staring at the grass in the garden they stood in, Lily looked back up to Varys’ face, watching him study her.

After a while, he slowly nodded.

“Magic has become rare, as you may know. However, my sources have recently informed me of magic being of prominence again in parts of Westeros. It has been revealed to a select few of my spiders that your uncle, Stannis Baratheon, has recently had a change in faith. He now apparently follows the Lord of Light.”

“ _The Lord of Light_? Is this a magical religion?”

“That is what the rumour states, yes, though what the faith believes and does are limited in my area of knowledge. There is also of course the question of believing it, and of it actually being true.” He spoke cautiously, as if once the words fell out his mouth they would be a stain on reality.

“That is your information of magic? My uncle who no longer prays to the Seven?” But when she thought about it, it was actually valuable intel. She was not particularly close to Stannis, having met him only a few times, but her perception of him was that he was a serious man, quite anti-social and bored with the people he met. To think a man that held himself in such high regard would join this magical faith _did_ ring alarm bells for the former witch. Perhaps evidence had been shown to Stannis that made him rethink his old beliefs. It was a stretch, but it was all Lilith had so far, and she suddenly felt very grateful for Varys’ words, despite his sudden hesitance in revealing what he knew.

“I am afraid that is all I know on the matter. Stannis is a private man and acquiring any sort of information from him is a difficult and unrewarding task.”

Silence descended as he stared at Lily once more. “I hope you do not aim to immerse yourself in any situations regarding the use of magic, Lady Lilith. It would be a dangerous path to walk upon. Those who associate themselves in any form with magical beings do not have an envious fate.”

She wondered what had happened to Varys to make him so hateful towards magic, so angry. Then again, unconsciously touching the right side of her forehead, she knew magic could be cruel.

==============================================================================================================

The following days saw Lilith mostly stay in her chambers. She decided a semblance of a plan was needed (besides the lack of information she actually had), and called it Getting The Fuck Out Of Here, very attention grabbing if she did say so herself.

Since everyone in King’s Landing _and their dog_ was planning Joffrey’s approaching name day, it meant she was relatively undisturbed in her chambers, occasionally leaving for meals and lessons. Though it seemed a few of the spirits noticed her brighter mood. She had met a _particularly_ interesting little girl who had died just outside her chambers a few centuries ago and gave her a large smile which warmed her heart when Lilith complimented her cute turquoise dress. (It meant her plan was not a very consuming task, but honestly, there was only so many times she could write _get to Dragonstone and befriend Stannis_  when knowing enough was enough. Varys had not attempted to contact her again: not wanting others to know of their association or no longer wanting an association with her, Lily did not know.

It didn’t matter, though. If this barely-a-plan did not work, she would keep searching for something, _anything_. Her life had been planned before: become the hero needed to defeat the Dark Lord. And Lilith would be _damned_ if anybody, even her father, would try and shape her life again.

==============================================================================================================

“Lily!” Tommen beamed, “You look lovely today.”

 “Why thank you, little prince”, Lilith beamed right back, taking a seat in between him and Myrcella, who was pretending to ignore her for the sake of pleasing her mother. The blonde princess stuck her nose in the air and looked around the room as if a bee was buzzing near her. The Queen in question saw this and it appeared she outwardly sighed, probably unimpressed with her child’s acting talent.

 The dining hall was rather big, and any noise would bring about an echo through the room. It was unsettling, and one of the reasons why Lilith would always eat in the kitchens. That and the woman opposite her never made eating her food much fun.

“What are you doing here, duckling?” The Queen softly inquired, pursing her lips as if she’d tasted something sour.

“My father sent for me; it seems that he has news that awaits. But he is not here”, she noted, scanning the room. “And neither is Joffrey. Do you know where they are?” And Tyrion of course, but she assumed he was in the whore house- they were similar in that respect, both avoiding awkward situations by simply doing things more worth their while.

“Mayhaps the King requested your presence in the throne room. It is most probable that that is where he stays”, the Queen replied, her sole focus now on the former witch snatching up and eating bacon strips from Tommen’s plate.

“Wanting to be rid of me so soon, Your Grace”, she teased, drinking from Myrcella’s cup, much to her chagrin. “No, his guards told me to come here, where there’s bacon! It’s moments like these where life can really be appreciated.”

“You’re in a pleasant mood”, Her Grace commented, though she looked indifferent. “It is unlike you.”

“Well you know, birds chirping, bacon sizzling”, _finally a plan to return home,_ “what’s not to be happy about?”

A small smirk formed on the Queen’s face. “Happy to be seeing your betrothed, then.”

Lilith kept on chewing the meat, though her eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“Don’t eat with your mouth open”, the Queen commented absentmindedly. Clearly more important matters were on her mind. “ I thought you would have known. Several houses will be arriving next week for Joffrey’s name day, House Bolton included. And what pleasant news. A chance to meet your _beloved”_.

This _woman_. A few days ago, this would have angered her deeply. But since Varys’ insight, she understood that in one way or another, she would not be marrying the Bolton. She wouldn’t.

“Well, I suppose I shall see if he is the _love of my life_.” Lilith mused, smiling sweetly.“Tell me, when did you realise with Robert?”

Cersei’s eyes hardened.

“I leave you alone for five minutes, and here you are bickering with the Queen!” Robert chuckled, entering the room with Jaime Lannister at his back, striding towards the chair at the end of table and consequently stopping the Queen and Lilith’s…. chat. Perhaps it was for the best, seeing as if it had continued, Myrcella and Tommen most definitely would have died of mortification, Lily noted. She had never seen her brother so red. Meanwhile, Robert grabbed the jug of wine in front of him and poured himself a generous amount, downing the drink like a dehydrated man discovering water. “Mayhaps we should have a trade. Take the woman”, he gestured to Cersei, “and _I’ll_ flounce about in the woods like an air headed maiden. You’d like that wouldn’t you? To be a man, a _King_ ”.

Lilith had nothing to say to that, so she stared obviously at his belly, and deadpanned, “I don’t think I could stomach it”.

Robert cackled, pointing his now empty cup at his black-haired daughter. “The _nerve_ of this girl! Not sure where you got those balls of steel from. Could be your mother. But it’s not like she said much in the five minutes we knew each other”.

She was glad her hands were on her lap. No one could see her clenched fists. “Why am I here, father?” attempting to gain some control over the conversation.

“Joffrey’s name day is next week. And many houses have been invited to come and see the future King- that includes the Boltons, you’ll be pleased to know.”

She nodded. “I’m aware. The Queen told me of this while you were…indisposed.” _Most likely with his whores._

The King scoffed, looking at his wife. “You my messenger now, woman?”

“Is it decided then? Are we officially betrothed?” Lilith cut in, though unsure why. Perhaps it was because she had to at least pretend as if it was still a topic of interest. Fortunately, she was a better actress than her little sister.

“No. Not fully. That is for me to decide. Now off with you, you’ll get fat if you eat too much bacon”, he laughed at his own joke, eyeing his chest. “Kingslayer, make sure she attends her duties. And girl, if I hear that you so much as _looked_ in the direction near the woods, I’ll marry you to Maester fucking Pycelle”.

Lilith began to walk towards the door, Ser Jaime quick behind her, but a thought halted her in her tracks. She turned towards the King. “Will Uncle Stannis be there?”, she questioned, completely unsubtle but completely uncaring. If Stannis was there, he would make her journey back to modern time _much quicker_. 

The King poured more wine into his goblet. Across the table, the Queen turned her head to the former witch, increasingly bored with the discussion at hand. “Fuck if I know, I’m not by brother’s keeper”, he shrugged, more focused on his drink. “Now get out, you insufferable shit”, his voice boomed, amused.

==============================================================================================================

“Why is it that every time I see you, you cause a stir?”, Ser Jaime asked, leading her down the halls to her _sowing lessons_. Merlin, _what a time to be alive._

“You usually see me in the presence of Robert, Ser Jaime. I believe you now have your answer.”

Jaime smirked, his handsome features contorting into a smug grin. And _goodness_ they were handsome features, thought Lily. She rarely talked to the man, mayhaps once or twice a conversation had taken place, but his beauty was noticeable from the distances Lilith would usually view him from. He looked similar to the Queen, but his face was more rugged and manly. She couldn’t tell if he had a similar personality to his sister, but the raven-haired beauty could hazard a guess. They were cut from the same cloth, after all.

“Point taken. You _are_ similar to him though. Whether you like it or not”, he added, seeing her scowl. “Not in appearance, be thankful to the gods for that. But you’re both wilful, both resentful of power. Funny, that.”

Lilith nodded, actually relieved when they reached her destination. His words made her uncomfortable. “I do hope that is as far as our traits go. After all, no one wants another Robert.”

He _tsked_ at her mockingly, and Lilith decided that _yes, cut from the same cloth indeed_. “Such harsh words, bastard. Had your father been here offense would surely have been taken.” 

“No longer a bastard, Ser Jaime.”

“Of course, of course, _my lady_. The error lies with me, forgetting such a _monumental_ moment. And how did it feel? To be liberated from the chains of bastard confinement?”

They arrived at Lilith’s destination, allowing her to feel a semblance of relief. This man irritated her, with his sharp tongue and cruel eyes.

“It does not seem any different, Ser Jaime.”

“But it will, when you have the pleasure of Domeric Bolton’s presence in but a week’s time. Then, _my lady_ , it will seem very different after all.”

==============================================================================================================

“You’re not very good”, Sabyne noted, watching as Lilith pricked her finger yet again.

“No I’m not.” She muttered quietly, not wanting to arouse the attention of her septa. “I think I was supposed to create embroidered flowers on the cloth. I….I have no idea what this is”.

Sabyne looked thoughtful. “Looks like two rats straddling each other. You sure you’re a princess?” 

“Fuck off Sabyne.”

==============================================================================================================

The days leading up to Joffrey’s name day were chaotic. Servants all around the Keep swarmed around the castle like bees, and the atmosphere was so hectic Lily felt claustrophobic. So she decided to walk through the quietest path along the gardens, walking under the areas that shade was most prominent, and that was where she found the Queen.

“Lilith, duckling.” she greeted, surprise flashing across her face before her cold eyes overthrew the previous emotion. The several guards behind her all bowed at Lilith’s presence, making her want to fidget. “I have not seen you in a while. Holing yourself in your chambers does not make for good company.”

 _Well_ , thought Lilith, _you clearly haven’t met Sabyne_.

“No matter”, she continued. “Walk with me”. Lily was outwardly shocked when the Queen reached her arm out and linked it with hers, though it was frigid and tense against Lilith’s.

“This is…rather strange.” She remarked. The Queen had never actively spent time with her. In fact, they had little more than five conversations in her lifetime just the two of them. Around four had been threats to end her life.

_Lovely._

“It would seem that way, yes.” And that was all she said for a while, taking in the rest of the garden’s makeover. Tents were being set, hedges trimmed, banners placed in categorical spots. And all for a boy who wouldn’t care of the effort made for his own pleasure. 

“I’ve never cared much for name days. A year passing of one’s life is nothing special. And King’s Landing is too loud in this period of time. No peace and quiet.” The blonde observed the people with feigned interest. “But the future King deserves the best, and that is what Joffrey will receive. No one will prevent that, duckling.” Her arm slipped out from Lilith’s, turning to face her fully.

“It is interesting. Less than a fortnight since your legitimisation, and you have been seen with one of the most powerful men in King’s Landing. Interesting indeed.”

Lily’s eyebrows shot up. “Varys? You are suspicious of me talking to Varys? That hardly seems fair”.

“And why ever not?” She gritted her teeth. “I warned you what would happen if you threatened the safety of my children.”

“ _Safety of your children_? You cannot possibly believe I am going to _harm_ Joffrey. That is ridiculous.” This was _madness_.

The Queen stepped back from her position, appearing bored with the turn of their argument. She placed her arm back with Lily’s and their walk resumed, as if nothing had happened.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter”, she conceded, her eyes never looking at her step daughter. “Soon you will be married to the Bolton in the north. And you will be forgotten. Barely a dot in history: the legitimised bastard who married a northerner. Nothing more.”

_And how she wanted to prove her wrong._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These characters are soooo much fun to write! Robert is fifty percent an asshole and fifty percent a mood.
> 
> Comment your thoughts! I love reviews as much as the Hound loves his chicken.


	4. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lilith had a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gone with the ages from the show, so when cannon starts Joffrey will be sixteen 
> 
>  
> 
> Trigger warning for violence!

“To Prince Joffrey Baratheon, heir to the Seven Kingdoms!”

“To the Prince!” Everyone at the feast was in good spirits, drinking and laughing and even dancing. Robert especially, who appeared to have a whore on his lap, both giggling at whatever the other said. Lilith noticed the Queen next to Robert, who left the long table a few minutes after the whore found Robert’s side.

All in all, the day had been going...fine, she supposed. Usually on the name days of the Baratheon children, Lilith would find herself drinking ale in a corner, amusing herself and herself alone with her drunken antics and avoiding any talk with Joffrey or drunk men. In hindsight it wasn’t the healthiest thing to have done as early as a child, but she found no one cared of what the bastard did in her time. Besides, she was technically a grown bloody woman in a teenager’s body! She could have some alcohol!

After her legitimisation though, things had changed. Lilith was now invited to sit with her siblings, and people would now compliment her rather than the previous _, but why is a bastard at an event like this? How odd! They should be taught their place._

Not that this was any better.

“You- you look beautiful tonight.” Stammered Domeric Bolton, sitting next to her with a consistent blush painted on his pale face. He wore dark colours that matched his hair and eyes and could be called handsome if it weren’t for the lack of confidence that surrounded his whole body like an aura. He was slightly older than her, being almost twenty years of age, but he wasn’t the usual arrogant arse she had encountered with men in King’s Landing. They had met the day before, with his creepy father greeting him to her and acting as if they were already married, a matched deal. For that, Lilith didn’t like Roose, not at all. She didn’t mind Domeric though. He was sweet and incredibly shy, which was rather endearing.

But the second they crossed gazes, she knew she would never love him. He didn’t have a spark, he wasn’t _interesting_. It was very depressing.

“Thank you, Domeric”, she replied, thinking of something to say. When they had discussed interests the day before Joffrey’s name day, he had gone into a very, very long rant of horses, not only riding them but also their _maintenance_. He could talk all day about them (he almost had), so Lily was trying to find something that would be less boring but something that would still make him happy. As it turned out, he would, for the first time, start the discussion himself.

“I am enjoying myself tonight." 

“ _Really_?”

“It seems very lively. Are all the feasts in King’s Landing like this?”

“Probably.”

"Ah."

……..

“I apologise.” She muttered. “I do not mean for my mood to be so shit.” He looked shocked at her use of vocabulary. “It is not _your_ fault I'm being like this. It’s been a long day.” Wasn’t that the truth. All day she had been scorched under the glare of the Queen, introduced to fancy lords and ladies who looked at the former bastard like she was some sort of miracle, and, to top it off, had found that Stannis had not been seen during Joffrey's name day. But she realised that to put any sort of anger on Domeric was cruel and very _Robert_ of her, so she pulled herself back into reality from her inner thoughts.

“Your father seems very pleasant.” She raised an eyebrow at that, looking at her father sucking face with an almost naked woman. He had also not spoken to him once. “Do you have a mother to speak of?”

 _Red hair and green eyes_. “No. But the Queen _certainly_ makes up for it. Do you have any family, Domeric?”

“No, no, I am the only heir to Dreadfort. Though I do have a bastard brother- _I_ \- I meant no offence, for him being a _bastard_ my lady”-

“What? Oh right, the bastard thing. No offence taken. So, who is this bastard brother?”

He perked up, his regret at the mistake forgotten. “His name is Ramsay. I have yet to convince my father to bring him to Dreadfort. But he is not completely averse to the idea, and I believe he may be warming up to it.”

“That is wonderful news.” And it was. “But surely that is private in terms of it being a _family matter_. Wouldn’t your father be upset if someone beyond House Bolton knew of these plans?”

And then he perked down. “I- Princess I did not mean”-

She laughed, head swinging back, this was rather  _fun_. “I’m fucking with you! I won’t tell a soul, you have my word.”

He smiled, though it looked forced. “You are…most amusing, my lady.”

“Call me Lilith. Or Lily, but we’re not that close. So, you’re a family man then? Wanting a brother in your life?”

He nodded, a small smile appearing on his face. “Of course, my lad- I mean, Lilith. I have always wanted brothers, or well, just a family. Because family means, well, um, _everything_ doesn’t it?”

 _Be brave Harry. Be strong_.

“Yes. Yes it does.”

She needed to leave this world. _Now_.

==================================================================

“Having fun there, bastard sister” Joffrey sat next to her and Domeric, making the latter look a mixture of constipated and terrified. That could also have been due to The Hound’s presence behind his chair, but Lilith found it would be more amusing if a blond boy of ten and three years scared the shit out of someone his senior.

“I _was_ ”, she said clearly, wanting him to hear her. “How has your name day been then? Can’t be too much fun if you’ve decided to pester me.”

He scowled. “I will speak to whomever I wish.” He placed his feet on the table and folded his arms. “How was your day as a Baratheon? You have me to thank for that. Mother _insisted_ I ordered you away from the celebrations, but I told her if I could slay a _beast_ on my hunting expeditions, I could deal with a savage bastard.”

“It is good to know the realm will be in such capable hands. And as I recall, you killed the animal after Ser Barristan had shot an arrow through its eye. So unless he’s here, I’m not sure why you are.”

Her half brother gritted his teeth at that and his complexion matched Domeric’s in being bright red. “You are talking, to your _future King_.”

She internally rolled her eyes. “Of course, brother. I am sorry for any caused offence.”

He nodded at that, satisfied. “Leave, Bolton.” Domeric took this cue to leave as quickly as possible, scurrying out of the banquet hall.

“That was rude.” She exhaled without venom, slouching in her chair, part of her relieved that the boy was gone. This was outweighed by Joffrey with her, though.

“Do you see over there?” He pointed at where Robert currently sat with his lady of the night. “One day that seat on the table will be mine. And only those I see fit will be able to be near me. Mayhaps, if you _prove your worth_ , you will be one of those people.” The way he was looking at her made her feel ill, the leer that he gave her was nauseating.

“We all attended lessons on how to act in an appropriate manner”, she began, straightening up in her seat. “You must know what is and is not acceptable. Especially to your own _blood._ ”

“I can speak however I wish. The future King does not need to listen to the advice of those below him. Including bastard daughters of whores.”

And this was the next _King_. Alarm bells were ringing for the future of Westeros.

“Well then, I’ll be off.” She slid out of her chair, already tasting the freedom of not being in his presence.

“You will leave, when I _tell you_ to leave.” He hissed, his fist banging on the table.

She turned and gave him a withering look. “You’re not King yet, Joffrey.” His face turned some shade of purple with rage, and Lilith took that as her cue to vacate the premises. 

==================================================================

When the feast ended, Lilith found Domeric in the halls apparently waiting for her. She convinced him to walk him to his chambers (“ _M-my Lady, I believe that to be the role of the man”_ ) and gave him a stiff nod in her own form of a farewell. But after Domeric retired, Lily did not go to her chambers. She went to her fathers, where he then was.

“Fuck of, girl,” he actually growled, gripping the now _two_ whores to his chest tighter. “Does it look like I have time for a heart to heart?”

“In a manner of speaking”, she supposed. “But I was just wondering if Stannis arrived today? And if not, when will he?”

“Why the fuck do you keep asking me about him? He’s not coming, the cunt couldn’t attend something fun if his life depended on it. Now get your head out his arsehole and fuck off out my chambers.”

So she went back to her room and leant her head against her door, angry at her uncles inability to show up when she needed him. Sure he didn’t know his niece wanted him there, but she was tired of being rational, damn it! And so, going through the passageways of the castle, she knew that with or without Stannis, she would be leaving tonight.

==================================================================

“And that was when I told Elyne that that was _my_ doll! She was so angry at that ,so she _shoved me_ and then I _fell_ down the stairs! Don’t worry though, she died a year later. I’m not sure why, but I know she was buried _without_ Dolly, so I thought it was poetic justice!”

Lilith halted in her steps, looking at the spirit of the little girl who had told her life story in the five minutes of her escape journey. She was adorable and chatty and very like Myrcella, and Lilith had to stop thinking about her. She had to leave her and Tommen behind. It was for the best. They didn’t need her. But her family did.

“Thank you for that story. I’m not sure what to do with that information, but I’ll think of something. Now, do you know where the best entrance to leave the castle is?”

She nodded brightly. “I used to help my mother out on the beach, and we saw many men come in with ships! Mother said that’s where they all go, since to take one you have to be in the castle to do it. My mother was smart like that.”

“Good for her. Tell me the way?"

.......

Going through the halls was the easy part. The guards walking down each passage were distracted in talking with one another, rather than actually paying attention to the fifteen year old lurking in the shadows. Honestly, Lilith thought, if she had remained, she would have to talk to her father about an improvement in security. She felt a pang of guilt when she thought about Robert. Discord or not, she would miss him. Perhaps she should have written him a note, but what on earth would she say to him? _I’m going to Dragonstone because it’s the only shot I have in going back to my magical world? I’m actually an adult, and I suddenly showed up here? It was a shock going from a grown woman to being a breastfed baby?_

A note would not be necessary.

Down the passageways, Lilith finally found the entrance to the opening of the beach, where, sure enough, a few boats were. Saying goodbye to the little spirit girl, she ran to them and pulled one of them with a great deal of strength, and grinned when it floated in the sea. _This was it! She was so close! She would sail to a nearby land, where the money in her purse would pay for a trip to Dragonstone. And then it would begin. She would go home._

“Oi! What you doin’ there?” Lilith turned to see two guards behind her on the stand. “You’re stealin’ one of the ships! Come back here!” _Why was this happening? No she would not go back!_

She cocked her head and gave them a bewildered look. “No.” She picked up the oars in the ship and started to row. Fast.

“No no no you don’t. That's property of the Crown you little shit!” One of the guards went in the water, striding towards her swiftly. Well, it was good to know the security here wasn’t completely shit.

“Come back here!” The other guard on the shore had taken his armour off, going in the sea and coming over to her at a high speed. It appeared her tiny frame wasn’t being quick enough, her rowing becoming more frantic as the second guard placed his hands on the little boat. _Fuck her small weak arms! Harry could have done this with ease! She wouldn't even have to! She had magic._

“That was a shitty try, little girl.” He peered at her, recognition forming on his face. “You’re Lilith Bartheon.”

There was no use denying it. "Yes. And if you let me go, I will pay you more money than you need." She flashed him her purse.

She saw the consideration on his face. She _saw_ it. 

She saw it fade.

He sneered at her. "Savin' the princesses' life after trying to run away? We'll get more than that. You're comin' with us."

It was clear he didn’t expect the punch, his face smacking into the water at the impact. She grabbed an oar and tried to smack him across the head, but he was too fast, he grabbed it and threw it out her reach. Lilith decided for another tactic, kicking him hard enough that he wouldn't be going to the whore house for a few days. It wasn’t enough. He recovered quickly and held her down, even when she attempted to claw at him with her hands. Lilith yelled in frustration, _she was so close why would they do this she wanted to be free-_

“Stop strugglin’! We’re sendin’ you to your father. Oi Bine! 'Elp me pick ‘er up.”

===========================================================================

When Lily was a little girl, she enjoyed being in the throne room. As a bastard, none of the people in King’s Landing wanted to talk to her, though there were attempts to belittle the small child (not that she’d give them the satisfaction.) It would leave people to sneer at her from a distance, hateful or condescending glares, and it reminded Lily too much of Petunia and Vernon for her liking.

“People are cunts”, her father told her the first time she had dared talk to him about it. “Jealous cunts while they’re at it. Cause you could be an ugly bastard, a stupid bastard, a fucking _crippled_ bastard, but you’d still be my daughter. That’s more than those shits could achieve in their puny miserable lives.” And he’d awkwardly patted her on the back while she took this into consideration, trying to give her a semblance of comfort in the only way her father knew how. 

So she did indeed love the throne room during her childhood. It became somewhat of a safe haven, where the only prying eyes would be that of her father, or anyone he deemed worthy enough to be in her presence. At the time, that room was the only inviting one in King’s Landing. Perhaps even yesterday it was for her as well.

Not then, though.

Any happiness Lily had caused on her father’s face had slipped away, replaced with a look of such pure anger that she thought that surely it could not all be for her. He sat on the throne instead of his usual slouch, the Queen and the Ser Barristan next to him, who waved off the guards to exit the room after they had woken him up and explained that, _Your Grace, your daughter 'tempted to leave King's Landing on a ship! We caught her just in time though, and glad we did, she'd be dead without us._ They didn’t matter to her, though. She wasn’t sure if anything mattered anymore. She had failed.

“My daughter”. His voice echoed through the hall, barely startling her from her reverie. She was too numb, too defeated, _because it failed she was so close she failed how could this happen why did the world hate her why would she be trapped here longer_ -

“Has apparently decided she’s too good for King’s Landing. That the Bolton’s can suck their own cocks for all she cares and leave me to deal with the fallout.” He clapped slowly, and Lilith was struck with the idea that _yes, Robert could be terrifying. He just needed a catalyst to show it._

But Lilith wasn’t afraid. She needed to leave, she couldn’t be afraid. “I was attempting to go to Dragonstone, father. I would have come back, I promise.”

“You _promise?!_ Your word means fuck all, girl! Why would you go to that _shit hole_? Why would you be so _fucking stupid_?”

That numb feeling was slowly fading away, replaced with something darker and more sinister. It was a new sensation, but she had to tamper it down. Aggression against aggression would get her nowhere.

“I have converted my faith. I no longer pray to the Seven; now the Lord of Light is my form of worship, and a place it is apparently practiced is in Dragonstone”. The words tumbled out her mouth, and she cringed at her own stupidity.

“The fuck is the Lord of Light? Is this supposed to be some sort of fool’s joke?! That my daughter decided to _run away_ from King’s Landing ‘cause she’s iffy about the Seven?! Not good enough. _Try again_ ”.

She clenched her jaw, once again pushing back that sensation that threatened to burst. “You don’t understand, father. I need to go there, please. I will come back, I swear it, send a guard with me, I don’t care, I don’t care, just let me leave. _Please_.” And wasn’t begging a new sensation. But Ron and Hermione were waiting for her, her _family_ was waiting. _Ginny_. If begging was what it took, then she’d gladly do it. Briefly, she noted she was becoming hysterical, but did it matter? Did anything but her family?

“Stop fucking talking!” If she thought Robert was angry before, nothing prepared her for this. “Having a tantrum cause the world isn’t going your way? Stop talking _now_!”

“No! Stop telling me what to do! I will not be your _pretty loyal princess_ and I will not marry Domeric! I can’t do this, I never wanted this! I wanted to rest! It was finally over I wanted to rest he was _dead_ and I could _rest”_ -

She hadn’t registered Robert actually getting up from his throne, but he must have when she felt the large slap land on her face, sending her crumbling to the ground. The world went black, and stars exploded behind her eyes like fireworks. When she opened them, she saw her own father looming over her, his mouth pressed in a thin line, and his shoulders heaving. Distantly, she saw Ser Barristan by the throne, a hand at the hilt of his sword as if contemplating fighting. And Cersei on the other side, looking almost surprised by her husband’s actions.

But none of it mattered. She was Harriet Potter, and no one would put her down. She stood up, despite the pain.

“Is that how you deal with all the issues sent your way? Physical force? Strong arms and a weak mind?”

This time a foot kicked her in the stomach, knocking her back to the surface with brutality.

“Be quiet, girl. Stay on the ground. Or I’ll show you what force is.”

 _Another order!_ How _dare he_ , more powerful people had kicked her down and she’d gotten up, and he thought that he _, he_ , could do the same. _She was Harriet Potter! Those who stood against her had all been punished, he would be punished._

**_“Don’t. Tell me. What to do.”_ **

All the energy that had been building up within her suddenly lifted. And then a white light _shined_ out of her hand and tackled Robert to the ground. His face twisted in agony and in a complete role reversal, his knees brought his body to gravity, and his hands clutched each side to his head in pain. His screams were deafening, echoing throughout the room like thunder on a quiet day. And all Lilith could do was look at her hands in shock.

She had used magic. She had magic. She felt whole again. She felt _complete._

Getting up, she felt taller than her father for once, superior. But it was a small thought overshadowed by the feeling of her magic within her once more, a friend greeting another after years of separation. No man’s wails could dissipate the growing smile that formed on her face, though she tamped it down when the guards from the doors outside came in, looking at the King in shock.

“I-I know not what happened.” Ser Barristan told them as he came over to Robert, though he glanced at Lilith with a hint of-fear? Confusion? “But the King is wounded. Take him to his chambers and call a healer. _Now_.” The guards complied, all managing to lift the trembling and wailing King out the door, Ser Barristan in tow.

But Lilith remained, continuing to stare at her hands in wonder. It was back. She was back. It was like finally being able to breathe again. She knew that Ser Barristan must have seen something, and she would probably feel guilt over her father later, but none of it was enough to ruin her _delight_. She chuckled breathlessly in amazement, still feeling some of the sensation coursing through her veins.

And then she looked up.

And saw the Queen staring at her, her lips parted and eyes watching her in utter _fascination_.

 _Shit_.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I found this v difficult to write gaaa
> 
> Tell me your thoughts! LOVE YA
> 
>  
> 
> I love comments as much as Joffrey loves.... kicking puppies? Being a dickhead? I do not know.


	5. A Bargain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lilith deals with the consequences. And there's a deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TO EVERYONE WHO HAS LEFT KUDOS, HITS, AND/OR COMMENTS, I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK YOU AMAZING BEINGS WHO PROBABLY SMELL LIKE A SUMMERS DAY
> 
> I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THIS CHAPTER YOU DESERVE ENJOYMENT BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL STARS

By the time Lilith had sprinted back to her room, Sabyne was already lounging on her bed, though she jumped off as soon as she saw Lilith’s appearance.

“The fuck happened?” Sabyne hissed, gently taking her swollen face in the palm of her hand. “Who did this to ya?” Her eyes were stormy with rage. It actually calmed Lilith down. Seeing someone care.

“It was Robert.” She ignored the intake of breath from the spirit. “But Sabyne! I used _magic_!”

“Robert did this to ya’? The bloody King laid ‘is ‘ands on ya?!”

“Sabyne. _Magic_. I used it.”

“What’re ya’ talkin’ about? Are we goin’ to address your father hittin’ ya’?”

“Later. _Magic_.” She was practically giddy, her only thought being her powers. Not Robert, not Ser Barristan. Definitely not _Cersei._  

Sabyne looked at her like she had grown a second head.

“Explain.”

==============================================================================================================

“So what you’re sayin’”, Sabyne said, after Lilith had told her the events that had just occurred. “Is that you got so angry, that your magic made Robert moan in _pain_?”

Lilith didn’t like it when it was put like that, but she nodded nonetheless.

"Well yes, but the point is that I my magic is back- this means I can use it to find my way home! I don't need the Lord of Light, I just need to teleport, to find the right spell!" Was she the only one who saw this _positively_?

"I think you're missin' the point, little Lilith. From what you said, it sounds like you can't control your power."

That made Lilith halt in pacing in the room, and her face fell. "I've had my magic back for five minutes. Of course I can't control it properly, it took me _years_ in Hogwarts to finally master my craft."

"Exactly. You're overexcited, thinkin' you can just blink back to your world. You need to find out how to maintain these powers, and then use 'em. You could injure yourself in that mindset of yours."

"But how do I do that?" It was like every time she had a solution, a hurdle would be thrown her way. It was awfully irritating.

Sabyne shrugged. "I guess you're back to square one, then."

But she wasn't at square one anymore. Not really. 

"And you need to take care of yourself, Little Lilith. You said the Queen saw what you did. And the Knight. Do you 'ave any self preservation?"

"Funny, from the maid who's _dead_."

"Oi! It was a riding accident, mind you! And don't get defensive with me! I'm sayin' that you've got two people who saw what you can do. Watch out for yourself. You don't want to end up like me."

==============================================================================================================

“Good day!” Lilith beamed, attempting to hide her nervousness through an exaggerated amount of joy. “I am here to see my father. Will you let me through?”

The two Kingsguard in front of the King’s chambers (she had no clue who they were, internally they were nicknamed Could Do Without the Moustache and Great Eyebrows) gave her two stiff nods and allowed her entrance into the incredibly dark room. Inside it smelt strongly of alcohol and sex, but apart from the lack of light in the room, it appeared to be unchanged from when Lilith had visited her father the night before. Before he had hurt her. Before she had hurt him.

Lilith turned to the bed, seeing her father snoring soundly, and next to him- oh _for fuck sake_ , _Ser Barristan Selmy_ and Jaime Lannister.

“Your Grace.” Ser Jaime spoke in the pin drop silence that formed. “Good. The King had just asked for you to be here. Ser Barristan told us the King collapsed due to his alcohol consumption, and that you were there. It must have been _quite the fright_.” _How was it, that even when he was whispering, he still sounded like an arrogant arsehole?_

 _“_ You speaking for me now, King Slayer?” A voice behind him snapped, and Lilith clasped her hands behind her back for no one to see her fingers twitch. “How about you two fuck off, I need to speak to my daughter. _Alone.”_

“Of course, Your Grace.” Ser Barristan gave her a considering look, his pupils reflecting unease. “Lady Lilith. You seem….well rested.” Unease became suspicion.

But she would not be cowed. “Sleep can do that, Ser Barristan.” Ser Jaime’s lips perked up at that, though he gave Ser Barristan a slightly confused look. Good, Lilith thought in relief, he wasn’t aware that anything out of the ordinary had happened last night. Meaning Ser Barristan had kept his mouth shut.

And the Queen, apparently.

“I thought I told both of you to fuck off.” Lilith then, for the first time since the Incident, turned her head towards her father. He lay in his bed, his face and body dripping in sweat and his eyes red rimmed, but apart from that, he seemed to be fine. A part of Lilith felt victorious at this image, a great bully of a man reduced to a bed ridden weakling.

She quickly shook the thought away.

After the two Kingsguards had left, it was silent, jarring Lilith as usually time with her father meant silence wasn't a concept. It also left her standing awkwardly- Lilith’s only purpose for being here was to check on his well being, and since he was fine…well she had nothing to say to him.

“Girl.” The King took her in, noticing the same swollen cheek that Sabyne had, if his clenched jaw was any indication.

“Oh come on, say something.” He snapped after a few moments of peace and quiet. “Say anything girl. Give me some sass, a biting remark. _Speak_!”

“Isn’t that how I earned your violence in the first place?” Lilith took delight in watching guilt flash across her father’s eyes, _regret_ even. With a great amount of strength, Robert slowly sat up on his bed, looking thoroughly exhausted. Ironically however, his eyes that were usually slightly cloudy from inebriation were now clear.

“I shouldn’t have hit you. I must have been wholly off my face, but that’s no excuse. You…you’re a _difficult_ child, Lilith.” It was him calling her by her name that threw her off. Not _girl_ , or _little shit_. Once upon a time, he’d even called her Lily.

“As far as apologies go, that was rather shit.”

He huffed out a laugh, fondness in his gaze, but it quickly sobered to a pensive look. “I’m rubbish at being a King. I’m even worse at being a father. No fucking clue what I’m doing. Maybe I should have sent you away all those years ago. You would’ve been happier elsewhere, I know that. Not in this stupid _shithole_. With cunts everywhere you turn, including those _damn_ Lannisters. But I couldn’t leave you when I met you for the first time. You were a cute, chubby fucker, and you wouldn’t stop crying; an irritating shit from the beginning." He made it sound like good times, she knew better. "Only person who managed to make you stop that wretched wailing for the first few days was Cersei, believe it or not. But one night I came in your room, checking how someone that small had lungs that big. And then when I was in your view, you took one look at me, your huge eyes looking up. And you were silent." He looked lost in his own thoughts then, almost speaking to himself. His eyes found hers. "I thought then I could be who they wanted me to be. I vowed to protect you, to raise you as an equal to Joffrey.” Many questions ran through her mind, but her shock at her father’s honesty outweighed them all.

“It’s obvious I failed you. Caused you to run away, hit you when you argued back. I’m- I’m sorry. I’ve failed you, I’ve failed that _fucking woman_.” What woman? Her mother? “I am _sorry_.” He chuckled to himself. “First time in years I’ve apologised. I won’t make a habit of it.” 

Lilith took a step forward. “You can’t expect me to forgive you just like that.”

“I know, I know. I never thought I'd be the man who hit their children. 'Suppose reality can give you a swift kick in the balls." He coughed. "I’ve done something you’ll like though, might cheer you up. Fuck knows where you got that _broody_ face.” She frowned at that, then cursed herself for proving his point. 

“Well let’s hear it then.”

“Ha! Still got nerve, even on my death bed.”

She rolled her eyes, though approached the subject with hesitation. “It’s just a hangover.”

“Worst one I’ve ever had. One second I was standing on my own two feet, the next…a white light. And then I wake up here.” He gestured to the sweaty sheets he was currently in. “Guards and healers all around me. Have I mentioned I’m surrounded by shits?” He looked at her as if expecting her to laugh, as if this ordeal had now made their relationship stronger than ever. Instead, Lilith gave him a blank look, and the smidgen of guilt she felt at hearing her father’s version of events was rapidly tamped down.

“Will you tell me the news?” 

“Right. I’ve decided the Bolton boy isn’t what I want for my daughter. He’s not a man, practically a girl in men’s clothing. Jon and I will continue searching for someone better. Can I get a thanks in return?” He sat there happily, as if he’d solved all the answers to her problems.

He was barely scratching the surface. 

“We’ll see.”

There was so much she wanted to ask him, so much he had revealed to her today- and openly, not drunk in the slightest- but, well, she just couldn’t continue speaking to Robert at the present moment. He was a bully, but he was her _father_. She didn’t understand how to deal with him, remembering his tender moments with her, but also having witnessed the side of him so rarely seen, the core of him which was trying to eclipse any love she ever had of the man. 

=============================================================================================================

Walking out of the room, Lilith immediately came face to face with Ser Barristan, who was clearly attempting to loom over her. _Alright then._

“Lady Lilith. May we speak in private?”

“In private?” Scoffed Jaime Lannister, who had also remained in front of Robert’s door. “What on earth happened that’s triggered _this_?” His relaxed posture sought the illusion that he was jesting, but the genuine curiosity in his voice dampened this.

“Private? Why not. Though I’m warning you, I am very dangerous”, and to everyone listening but Ser Barristan, it was a teasing comment.

When they were in private, he began.

“What I saw”-

“I don’t know what you saw. But I know no one would believe you. People would say it’s due to your age, or your time for the King has driven you over the edge. Gossiping will get you _nowhere_. Especially comments that the King does not even remember.” Lilith was surprised at her attitude, but let it happen. If this man thought he could use this information against her, he had another thing coming.

“I understand that, Lady Lilith. I’m not sure what happened myself. I suppose I just wanted to make sense of it all.”

“Oh. Well, me too. Not knowing what happened, that is.”

An awkward silence descended.

“Well then. Ta.”

Lilith practically skipped away, relieved that the worst was over.

She was wrong.

====================================================================

The task was simple: move the book from the balcony to the table. Lilith closed her eyes and tried to relax. She could feel her inner magic bubble up slightly within her, and that was a comfort, after fifteen years the feeling had finally returned. But it was not as strong as what was in her chest the night before- the complete blissful sensation as she was one with her magic. She had never felt so powerful, and at that moment had never felt more _free_.

This paled in comparison. 

She gently raised her hand, and thoughts in her head travelled to the book, _move to the table, move to the table, move to the table._

The book remained on the balcony.

Lilith really wanted a wand.

This continued until the dead of night, where at this point Lilith was close to pulling out her hair in frustration, because this was so _difficult_ , she didn't understand.

She then thought back to what had made her magic happen, the anger she felt at Robert. Lily tried to fester the rage that had previously swelled in her heart, but it was a sliver compared to that night.

This was _impossible_.

But she had faced worse odds. Death, for example. She fell asleep at that thought.

==============================================================================================================

Knocking at the door woke her up.

“Go away”, she groaned, her voice raspy from disuse and her thoughts foggy from sleep. “I’m ill.” She wasn’t.

“Open the door.” It was like someone had poured cold water over her. The Queen was the last person Lilith wanted to talk to, and after seeing her reaction to her magic…well, she could do without any sort of chat with her.

“I am very, _very_ ill.” She decided a cough to prove her point would be slightly staged, so she opted for a loud sniffle. Clearly, the woman on the other end of the door didn’t buy it.

“Yes, you sound it.” She could practically hear the older woman roll her eyes. “Open the door.”

“No. Fuck off! It’s rude to disturb an ill person!” Lilith could not do this today! Why was everyone irritating her? Especially the most unpleasant woman alive. Dolores Umbridge had nothing on this bitch, and here she was, near her _personal space_.

“I have guards by my side. Open the door, or they will tear it down.”

Lilith swore under her breath at the _audacity_ of this woman, but most of her felt anxiety bubble up in her chest. Of course she knew that the Queen wouldn’t harm her- well, _couldn’t_ harm her, but knowing she knew of her powers left her feeling uncomfortable. Like it wasn’t only Lilith’s anymore, her identity being stolen through knowledge. But the fact that there were guards meant this would become an issue, and an issue was the last thing Lilith wanted that day. So she walked over to the door, and opened it.

Lilith was surprised to see Cersei with no guards. Just her.

The Queen strode in her chambers as if she owned them and waited for Lilith to close the door before she spoke.

“Two nights ago. What did I see?”

Logically, Lily knew denial would prove useless.

But fuck logic. 

“What am I seeing _right now_? There are no guards here! That is rude, lying right to my face so early in the day. And it was Joffrey’s name day two nights ago. There was a tournament, and then a feast”-

“Don’t be irritating. One second Robert was towering over you, the great beast that he is, the next he was brought to the ground by a white light. A white light that came, from your palms.”

Lilith hid her gulp. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Robert went into some sort of fit due to his alcohol consumption, Ser Barristan said so himself.”

“Denial will make this discussion dull. And that would be a disappointment.”

“Nothing. Happened.”

Cersei looked at her in the eyes, her green orbs piercing. This wasn’t anything new; the Queen had done so before on practically every confrontation they had with one another, but it was _different_ this time. Rather than it being used as an intimidation tactic, it seemed she genuinely wanted to know what Lilith was thinking.

“You were surprised when the light came from you. Surprised, but not scared of what you achieved. As if it has happened before, but it has been some time. The way you looked at your hands…it was as if you had reunited with a lost ally. And before, when you argued with Robert, you mentioned someone being dead. That you were going to rest. When you said it- well, shouted it, I’m surprised the whole Keep didn’t wake- I thought you were speaking false words. Perhaps for attention. But after what I saw, I cannot rule anything out, now can I?”

Lilith remained silent, her arms folding around her waist. 

Cersei sighed at this. “I did believe I would not manage to gain any information from you. You have always been an incredibly stubborn individual. I could have given you space for years and it would not make a difference towards any sort of confession on your part.”

 _As if this woman ever understood her._  

“Then why are you here?”

She shrugged. “I am not sure. Fear perhaps? To understand what my family will face if your…talents grow.”

“You know I would never face your precious _family_ , I care too much for Myrcella and Tommen to do that.”

Briefly, Lilith realised Robert’s name hadn’t been mentioned.

“And you are not afraid of me, I can tell. Ser Barristan on the other hand…”

“Are you surprised? Imagine one of the most skilled fighters in this land watch a girl half his size and more than half his age, bring the King down to the ground in one motion. Ser Barristan is not a fool, he understands when a threat is close by.”

“You've always considered me a threat. A few weeks ago you thought I was plotting with _Varys_ to usurp _Joffrey_."

The Queen's lips thinned. "Can you blame me, for worrying of the safety of my children?" 

Lilith looked cautious. "You are being...decent with me. Have you decided to put your head up my arse because you think I performed some sort of magic?”

“You sound like Robert. And I never said any such thing of _magic_.” Now she looked triumphant, her thinned lips forming into a smug grin. “You certainly know more than you’re telling me.” 

The young witch breathed heavily, annoyed by the Queen’s nerve. Apparently, it wasn’t enough to bring back her magic, but she knew her magic wasn’t gone. Not anymore.

“ _Why_. Are you here?”

Cersei now looked amused, as if she now had the upper hand. It was infuriating. “I understand you wish to leave this place, if your weak attempt at running away from King’s Landing was anything to go by. I know your escape must have been fuelled by your interaction with the Bolton, indicating your deep hatred for being married. I know that your…gifts, are not powerful enough to let you achieve what you seek to do, seeing as two average guards were able to seize you in a matter of seconds.” Lilith wanted to reply with, _actually, it was a few minutes_ , but she knew that would only bring more evidence to the Queen’s argument. “Therefore, I have a proposition for you.”

_What?_

“I want you to be my spy for the next few months. You will blend in with the Keep and subtly immerse yourself into town affairs. You will tell me when there is a plot against my family, and you will fix it. You will protect me and those who I love, and give me some semblance of the truth. During this time, I will see to it that you are not married to anyone, that all suitors will be held off, and that your contact with Robert will be limited. And after these months, I will arrange a ship to take you wherever you want. I don’t believe you actually worship this _Lord of Light_ , but I do believe there was sincerity when you wanted to go to Dragonstone. I will give you money and safe passage, though I doubt you will need protection. That is my proposal.”

_What?!_

“Is that a deal?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously love you all. Thanks for reading! And leave comments if thats up your street! I love comments as much as Gendry loves rejection.
> 
> Too soon to say that? meh


	6. Keep the Mystery Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Cersei is Bob. It will make sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo this chapter is realllllllly short but hope you enjoy? New chapter will be posted soon so not much of a wait for a longer chapter
> 
> I love you all. I really do

Lilith lay on her bead, staring at the ceiling. It was a boring ceiling in all honesty, though Lilith for the life of her couldn’t find out what constituted a fun one. But if she tried hard enough, she could almost see the stars. A pang went through her at that thought, with the image of Hermione in her mind. She would definitely know all about astrology, Lilith was sure of it. But eventually her mind slipped back to the events of the previous hours.

_“……The fuck?”_

_“How eloquent”, the Queen drawled, tilting her head to the side. “This deal offers you the best form of protection. You would be a fool to turn this down, a young, vulnerable fool.”_

Anyone could hear the manipulation in the Queen’s words, but _wasn’t she right_? Lilith could be shipped off to a suitor in the middle of Butt Fuck nowhere, and mostly likely attempt another failed escape. Robert could show violence again. Or maybe her magic would slowly drain, preventing any kind of runaway mission, leaving her empty once more.

But if she listened to the Queen, she was putting herself in the Queen’s possession. She would be out of her own control and that _terrified_ her.

“You’re thinkin’ too much.” Sabyne commented beside her, her body floating above the bed. To many this would have been frightening, but it only served to further sour Lilith’s mood.

“It’s just difficult. That woman is _vile_ , so to think I would basically work with her for months…. I don’t know if I can do that.”

Sabyne nodded next to her, taking her words in. After a beat, she seemed she had the answer. “I think you already know what you’re gonna do. An’ that’s why you’re scared, workin’ for that utter bitch of a Queen.”

“How do you know that? For all you know I could tell her to fuck off and find my own way back.”

“But that’s been a plan for over five and ten summers now, ‘asn’t it? Little Lilith, you know I mean well when I say that even with this magic in your life, you’re still well and truly without a plan. You need this woman, she’s the only one who’s outlined somethin’ for you. And you know that.” But her words were not comforting.

“But she’ll have power over me!”

“She already ‘as power over you! She’s the blimmin’ Queen!”

“She could make me hurt people through blackmail!”

“You said she needed protection for ‘er and ‘er family. Would you really not wanna ‘urt a soul who lay ‘is ‘ands on Tommen and Myrcella?”

“Don’t say that. Don’t make me out to be some kind of avenging villain. You know me better than that.

Sabyne visibly deflated at that (as much as a ghost could visibly deflate.) “You’re right. But, why do you have to be under her thumb? I didn’t strike you as a pushover, that mark on your face told me that”

Lilith stroked her cheek, frowning when she noticed it was still bruised to the touch. But Sabyne was right, wasn’t she? She had no plans, she hadn’t had any for some time. And did the magic mean something? Other than making her feel warm and complete and happy, she was wrong. It wouldn’t help her leave Westeros until she had harnessed her powers. By then, the Queen herself would help her leave safely.

But there was another thought that sparked in her mind.

“Can I trust her? The Queen that is." 

Sabyne contemplated this. 

“No”, was her final answer. “That woman can’t be trusted. But from what you did in front of her, I think she’s smart enough not to fuck you over.”

=============================================================================================================

The next few days saw Lilith trying to find time alone with the Queen, though annoyingly she could never find her by herself. If she wasn’t with Tommen and Myrcella she was with Joffrey, or her ladies in waiting, sometimes even _Robert_. Merlin forbid she tried to speak to her with the King around, especially since she had been avoiding him as much as possible.

It was all very infuriating.

So, when Robert announced he was feeling much better and wanted to go on a hunt, she saw this as an opportunity to speak to the Queen in her chambers. 

Which was how she managed to get sucked in to a conversation with the man in front of the Queen’s chambers, Jaime Lannister. Honestly, did this man live his life in front of different doors?

Ugh. 

“Bastard.” He greeted, reminding her that yes, he was still insufferable. “You grow more beautiful every day.”

“Aww, how kind of you to say.” She cooed. “You yourself look dashing.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“Of course not, I’m being polite. I was hoping to see the Queen?”

Amusement morphed into confusion. “First Ser Barristan, now our own Queen? You truly are becoming intriguing, bastard.”

“Is calling me bastard an inside joke now? I’m not really there in our relationship, best stop that. Also let me through.”

“Why on earth do you want to visit Cersei?” Jaime appeared to have dropped all pretences. He looked genuinely baffled.

_To braid each other’s hair and talk about boys. Honestly, no member of the Kingsguard had no right to be this nosy._

“That’s our business.”

He didn’t accept that, staring at her as if she would crack from a simple look. Eventually, he spoke. “That night. The night Robert was taken away. What happened?”

Lilith bristled at that, realising he was much more perceptive than initially thought. “Nothing. Well, apart from Robert’s…breakdown.”

“Well that’s a lie. I know he hurt you for starters. I saw your cheek. My _deepest_ condolences, we all know the King’s hand to occasionally slip.”

Lilith didn’t know that. Who else had he harmed? Or was he jesting?

She didn’t have time for this. She needed to speak to the Queen.

And here I thought it was only his fingers in whores. Are you going to let me through..or?”

Jaime barked out a laugh at that, clearly caught off guard.

“You must realise how much you sound like him, bastard. Gods, it was like he was just here.”

Before she started to fume at that, because _no one_ compared her to Robert, no one, no one-

The door behind them opened, with a few maids stepping out of the Queen’s chambers. The Queen herself also walked out the room, though she halted when she took in the sight of her.

“Go for a walk, Jaime. This does not concern you.”

Both Jaime and Lilith gave each other looks at that, Lilith a tad smug and Jaime appearing as if he’d walked into an alternate world.

It was rather lovely, to have a Lannister confused beyond measure. Lilith hoped she would get to see the same expression on the Queen.

===========================================================================

Words could not describe how refreshing it was when the Queen didn’t beat around the bush. Once the door had fully shut, she turned to Lilith with slightly raised eyebrows. Lilith could certainly respect that.

“Well?”

Lilith walked by her table, glad no small talk was made. “I’m in. But if you’re not true to your word, I will hurt you.”

The Queen hummed, clasping her hands together. “You have heard of the saying, ‘A Lannister always pays his debts.’”

“Everyone and their mother have heard that expression, Your Grace.”

“Then you understand that I do not take this proposition lightly.”

Lilith nodded. “Right, right.” She then swung on her heels, having realised something. “So this starts now? And how does this work?” A bubble of excitement washed over her, her magic practically dancing in her soul at the spike of energy. “Do we have code words? Code _names_? If we do you _have_ to call me _007._ ”

“I don’t understand most of what comes out of your mouth.” The Queen mused, uncaring but her lips slightly turned up. “And I do forget that you are still a child, when all is said and done.”

“And I forget that you’re aging, _when all is said and done_.”

“If there is a problem”, she began, ignoring Lilith’s comment. Though that was probably for the best, it wasn't her finest work. “Mayhaps a code would be preferable. Perhaps to alert me of the issue first and see how it can be privately addressed.”

“What if it’s too dangerous?”

“Then it will _not_ be privately addressed. But the news will come to me first.” She gave a meaningful stare at Lilith’s first order.

“A code word, a code word…. How about, ‘Robert pass the salt.’”

“And if we are _not at a table_? Better yet, if Robert is not present?”

“Well then, ‘Robert, do _not_ pass the salt.”

“……...We’ll discuss another code word in due course.”

“I was also serious earlier: my code name is double-o-seven. And yours shall be…. I dunno, Bob or something.”

Bob scowled. “Do not act as if this is a game. When my family’s life is at risk, you shall not be laughing, I know that for certain.”

“But you also know that, while Robert is not the best King, there have been no rebellions during his rule. I’ve never heard of anyone being successful in harming the Baratheons, sounds like security is already fine.”

The Queen was seemingly unconvinced. “One can never be too sure. Besides, this is not about Westeros, this is about my children. You don’t understand, but when you become a mother, you will know what it means to want every ounce of safety for them.” 

Briefly, a pang shot through her as she thought of Teddy. _Oh, how she missed him_.

Lilith sat on the chair by the table, her mood having gone sombre, her initial excitement at being useful dampened.

“So, what’s my first mission? Do I befriend the Court, woo them into telling me their real thoughts? Do I integrate myself with the people? Have you thought this through?”

“Of course I have.” The Queen scoffed, moving towards Lilith. “Positive relations with those in Court is essential, obviously. It will be hard, no doubt, but this is taking over the duration of many months, secrets coming to the surface will be a slow burn, yet it is inevitable.”

“I wouldn’t say that’s true. I mean, giving secrets to the King’s daughter?”

“To a former bastard who has a reputation for being difficult to control. You may possess some sort of gift, but your true power is underestimation.”

She furrowed her eyebrows at that. Because wasn’t that true? Lilith remembered the night of Robert’s fall. Ser Barristan had looked at her as if she were some sort of dangerous animal, approaching her warily and with a new founded degree of caution. And of course, she remembered the Queen, looking at Lilith as if she was inspecting a new species.

Lilith also saw how people who weren’t there looked at her. Jaime, while now apparently curious, only really seemed to have a slight interest. As if her presence was more amusingly entertaining. People in the castle barely acknowledged her, a double take was only granted when she stood next to Robert to greet guests. Was that what she wanted? To be overlooked to the extent where she was seen as no more than an accessory? No, she decided. Before she left Westeros, she would make a mark.

A deep one, at that.

The Queen noticed her acceptance, sitting opposite her on the table. But it was different. Last time they had spoken like this, the Queen’s eyes were practically glazed with boredom. Now they were piercing, staring at her like Lilith was a complicated puzzle she just couldn’t crack.

“Seeing as we are now working together, this does mean there should be communication between us.”

“If you start going on about trust, I will laugh and walk out of here.”

“I will never _trust_ you, don’t be ridiculous. But I would like information. Tell me what you know about your gifts.”

Lilith took a deep breath.

“No.”

The Queen looked taken aback, though she quickly schooled her features of alarm into one of casual indifference. “What?”

“With all due respect, I’m not telling you my life story. You have no reason to know and telling you would be you having dominance over me. I'm sorry, but I don’t think so.”

Now she didn’t bother to hide her anger. “You are working under my authority.”

“Except I’m not.” Lilith remarked right back, no longer the perky girl who decided on code names. “You need me. Otherwise you would never have even considered your husband’s bastard spending time with you. No, but there’s more, I can see it in your eyes. You’re not scared of me, clearly, I’m in your chambers with no guards at the door. But you’re wary. I’ve surprised you, and now you _just don’t know what I’ll do next_.”

The Queen- no, _Cersei_ , she had no right to have more authority over her- leaned over to where Lilith was, her green eyes cold and unflinching. It was like looking in a mirror. “You believe you can be my equal. Powers or no powers, I am your better." 

She shook her head. “No, no. If we are going to work together, we are going to be equals.” Lily got up and stalked to the door, not allowing Cersei to try and intimidate her any longer. “That will give you something to think about. Because if you think that for the last few months here, I’m going to be your bitch, then we need to rethink this deal.”

So, with that, she opened the door, and left.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE A REVIEW ANYONE WHO SEES THIS JUST KNOW REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY HAPPY HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
> 
> OOO and next chapter we see a character we haven't seen yet WhO iS iT?? you all probably know


	7. Friendship or Worship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lilith makes friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna bring Tyrion into this chapter and I was HYPED but alas it just wasn't meant to be
> 
> I'll try and put him in next chapter? I just don't know when he is too badass to only get one scene, so for now he's j chilling in the whore house

The following days were seen by Lilith as rather, really dull. She had stayed in her room most of the time, waiting for Cersei to come in and tell her that she agreed (or disagreed most likely) to her newfound demands. While Lilith had no regrets of what she told her and was actually rather pleased with her breakout of petty royal authority, it did unfortunately mean that she was to wait a long while. And knowing Cersei, she would only come to the young witch when she was on the very edge of her seat.

It wasn’t until a week later, where Lilith had spotted Cersei across the hall with her usual band of guards. One heavy nod from the Queen, and Lilith knew she had done it. She had won against the bitch, and it felt _good_. Not putting the war to rest good, but it still counted for something.

And that was how Lilith Baratheon, daughter of Robert Baratheon and first of her name, sat at the most boring small council meeting she had ever witnessed.

Well, she hadn’t witnessed any other one, but still, she knew boring when it was in her face. Though Lilith was amused when looking back at her and her father’s entrance into the council meeting. 

_“Your Grace”, Varys had said, while he and the members of the council stood for their King. At that Robert had grunted and stalked to the head of the table, where he plonked himself roughly._

_A silence ensued._

_“Pardon me, Your Grace.” A man- Philip? - spoke from his seat once all had sat down, including Lilith next to Robert on the table. “You have surprised us. We understand that our majesty has other issues to attend to rather than the tedious nature of our small council meetings. And with our princess, no less.”_

_Smooth._

_Robert grunted again, twitching his fingers as if wine would magically appear._  

_“And why would I not be interested in the affairs of my own kingdom?” Looking at everyone with narrowed eyes, a clear attempt to make Lilith’s roll._

_“My King, we do not accuse you of a lack of interest. It is simply not in your character to discuss issues with all of us in tow. Especially with your lovely daughter.” And that would be Jon Arryn, a great politician if Lilith ever met one. He looked at her kindly, but she could see the calculating gleam in his eyes, assessing her presence. They all were: Philip?, Lord Varys (who looked rather uncomfortable), Maester Pycelle, and Renly._

_“What we all mean to say, dear brother, is why on earth are you here? You lost?” The council members all shifted in their seats at Renly’s words, probably impressed by his audacity._

_“I insisted.” She finally broke the building tension. “I’m fascinated by politics you see, I can’t get enough. So I asked Robert if I could attend, and he said yes. Isn’t that brilliant? I think so too.”_

_(It was lucky that Robert still retained some semblance of guilt for harming her. She knew he was trying to impress her these days, and it worked like a charm in her favour.)_

_“Well done, niece. Getting Robert to actually show up? Teach me your ways, oh great leader.”_

And that was that, with Robert immediately trying to pick an argument when he didn’t like the way things sounded. During the session Lilith tried to notice anything off about the members. She didn’t find much. Sure, Maester Pyrcelle looked like an absolute creep, and Philip looked a tad greedy. She noticed with a frown that Varys hadn’t looked her way since her entrance. Was he avoiding her? Had her talk with him been for nothing? Had her talk scared him away? Philip? Was a handsome fellow, very charming but he seemed a bit off. Like he was trying to be something he wasn’t. Renly clearly didn’t want to be in the meeting, his eyes glazing over when he wasn’t involved in the topics at hand. And of course, she noted the absence of Stannis, who had not been at court for several months. Though she did note that had Stannis been here, she most definitely would not be here.

“What do you think of that, girl? Conserving money, only men with tails wrapped between their legs believe that shows a strong kingdom.” Robert’s comment snapped her out of her thoughts.

Lilith shook her head. “That’s a good plan. You can’t run a kingdom without a considerable amount of money, even I know that.”

Robert huffed, bored by the turn of events. “Conserving money makes us look like some weak kingdom, makes us look vulnerable. We need events, that will show everyone our power and wealth.” 

“What wealth? Father, that is truly an awful idea.”

And once again, a silence descended in the council.

Her father gritted his teeth, and Lilith was reminded of _that_ night, the night he lost control, the night where she saw who he really was.

“Best leave the council now, girl. We’ve over excited you.” 

“Why? Because I’m right?” Not even Renly came to her defence, but she found she didn’t care. Cowards, the lot of them.

“The King is right, my lady. The small council is no room for a young girl like yourself. Mayhaps the best course of action at this moment is to retire to your chambers. You could go into the woods?” Lilith’s jaw tensed at the snide words of Jon Arryn, the condescending prick. Though judging by the look in his eyes, she could tell they held the same viewpoint of one another. He looked at her like she was a bug he couldn’t squash, and she wondered why.

“You know I’m right.”

“Girl! It was amusing at first, it’s getting annoying now. Go!”

Instead of rising to the bait, she forced a bright smile, though she was positive her eyes betrayed her. “Of course! Politics isn’t for me anyways! Have fun deciding the path of Westeros, I’m so happy it’s in the hands of such capable beings!” She skipped out the room, ignoring their bemused glances.

Fuck them all.

 =============================================================================================================

Lilith gazed at the book across the room. She closed her eyes and thought of happy things. Myrcella. Tommen. Ron. Hermione. She thought of how the power made her feel. Excited. Exhilarated. Alive. Special.

The book opened on its own accord, though it didn’t meet her hands when it remained on the ground.

But it was progress. Lilith smiled.

 

===========================================================================

 

The town was so festive and alive that it caught her off guard for several seconds. Inside the Keep, the most laughter she heard was from Robert at his own jokes, or the fake giggles the whores produced in his room echoing. This was so completely different, the buzzing of excitement and positive energy that flowed throughout the streets that it soothed Lilith, like a wet blanket lightly pressured against ones forehead during high temperature. Walking through the town in her shawl made her feel like an outsider, and, as fucked up as she knew it was, made her nostalgic for the times she spent with Vernon and Petunia. Not for them entirely, but for the world she knew and loved.

But she was distracted from the task at hand. Looking around, Lily searched for the aura that glowed in certain areas, through stands in the market to those standing around wells. Finding spirits was surprisingly difficult, since in Kings Landing they usually approached her.

Ugh.

Searching, searching, she thought, moving along as she strode with purpose. There had to be one somewhere-

Aha! Victory flashed through her mind when she saw a little translucent boy sitting on the stairs next to the Tavern. He was little, no more than twelve at most, and had pitch black hair, a similar shade to hers. He was very skinny, but his cheeks were fat and round, and his eyes were large and blue, only getting bigger when he looked up as soon as she got to him.

“You can see me?” He said quietly, his mouth hanging loosely open.

“You’ll catch flies.” Lilith softly teased, finding amusement when he blushed (as much as a ghost _could_ blush) and immediately shut his mouth with a small snap. “I can see you. What’s your name?”

“Janick”. His eyes never left hers. Neither did Lilith’s, who was uncaring at heads beginning to watch as she seemed to talk to thin air. 

She smiled. “Janick. I like it. Would you like to walk with me, Janick?”

His initial shock faded into excitement, as he nodded eagerly and began to float next with her when she turned to walk into the market.

“I don’t understand. How can you see me? Who are you? I’ve never seen a Solid talk with any of us.”

Lilith shrugged, mentally adding Solid to the list of nicknames she had acquired in her lives. “I’m very boring, Janick, how bout we talk about you? And then I can answer all the questions you’d like. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Good. How old are you Janick?”

“I was eleven. I’ve been eleven for some time, but it feels like yesterday that I…  I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Don’t worry, I understand. From everyone I’ve met, they feel like so much has happened all in the space of a day.”

“Exactly!” He nodded vigorously, appearing glad that someone alive actually got it. “It feels like the busiest day of my life, and that includes when mama was ill and I had to clean her clothes.” 

“Your mama. She still alive”, she gently inquired, cursing herself when his pale face fell. 

“She’s been dead for a while. I thought she’d become like me, but I haven’t seen her.” His eyes moistened when he looked up at her. “Why hasn’t she come to see me? Is she okay?”

Lilith pinched her lips, once again cursing herself for being a moron. But she couldn’t lie to him, she knew that honesty was perhaps the best way to handle most situations. Something Albus had _not_ taught her. “Some of us, when we die…we don’t become like you. I’m not sure where we go, but I think its somewhere better, happier. If you haven’t seen your mother, then she might be there. Waiting for you.”

Janick looked thoughtful, and for several minutes it was quiet, Lilith mindlessly strolling with Janick floating by. Finally, she decided to break the ice.

“I need your help, Janick.”

His head shot up, sad mood forgotten. “A mission?”

“Exactly! It’s a very special mission, you sure you can handle it.”

Janick scoffed. “I’m eleven, not six.”

“Eleven is a brilliant age, you’re right. You up to it?”

“What is it?”

She leaned down to him conspiratorially, finding amusement in the way he was trying his best to look serious. “Do you know anyone else who’s…like you? You know, dead?”

He scoffed again. “Of course. There’s a group of us, around thirty.” _Thirty_? That took her by surprise.

“I need you to round them up. Tell them Lilith Baratheon wants to speak to them tonight, by the rocks next to the tavern with the torches around them. Know the one?”

Janick looked confused. “Why would the princess want to talk to us? Can she see us too?”

“She’s got some ability in that area, yeah.” It took a while before recognition seeped in his eyes.

“You’re the princess?” He squealed, once again going bright red.

“Yes, yes, it’s really super. Do you think you can do this for me? As soon as the sun sets.”

“I can take them to you now, if you’d like. Its noon, and we usually all stay together at this time, talk ‘bout life, stuff like that. But I just wanted to be alone, clear my head, you know? Sometimes it gets a bit…much. But good for me, ‘cause I met you! So you want to see them now?”

Lilith beamed down at him, feeling particularly lucky on this fine day. Perhaps it was a sign, a signal that what she was doing was the right thing. But she wasn’t that superstitious, if superstitious at all.

“I’d love that, Janick. Lead the way.

 =============================================================================================================

He led her to a hut, a place seemingly desert and remote. But Lilith knew better. Focusing her senses, she was shocked by the amount of spirits that resided there, and not just Janick’s age. Old, young, middle aged. Mother’s wife children, infants playing games, adults talking to one another. It was a community, and it was _beautiful_.

She still squirmed when they looked at her though. 

“She’s pretty isn’t she?”

“How can you tell though that shawl?”

“You think anyone’s pretty if blood runs though them.”

"So still not you."

“Oi!”

“Nice clothes. Wish I had those when I was young.”

“Or if clothes didn’t go through you.”

“Oh fuck off.”

“Everyone! Everyone!” Janick called out to them, impressing Lilith when they all zipped their mouths. “This is Lilith. She can see us.”

Lilith gave them a little wave. And then it was chaos.

They crowded around her, some flowing into her which gave her a constant stream of shivers, and making her regret a great deal of her life choices. It suddenly angered her though, that they thought they had the right. She didn’t understand where the rage came from but it was sudden and fierce and oh so stunning, it empowered her she was fearless-

“Stop!” They all floated back from her in complete disarray, confused of how they moved without their own free will, and the bright white light that made them do it. Lilith smiled when she felt the rush of magic within her. Almost as if it was protecting her.

“She’s a witch!” Pointed one after some silence, an old man with a cane.

“I am.” She agreed. “Have I gathered your attention”.

There were several nods.

“My name is Lilith Baratheon.” She ignored the gasps. They had just seen her perform magic and they gasped at a _title_?“And I have a favour to ask of all of you. Favours from the Queen herself.” More gasps.

“Do you expect us to believe you?” Scoffed a young lady, ginger and freckly. A few others nodded their head in agreement.

“Hush, Faye. Do you not feel her? She’s _magic_. She’s beautiful.” A child whispered loud enough for all to hear. This time, most of them nodded with her.

“It’s almost as if we _need_ to help her.” One said in awe. “How do you do that? We don’t even _know_ you.”

“All you need to know is what I’ve told you, and what you’ve seen.” She was confused at their reaction to her. _Needing to help her_? _Feeling like magic_? Those were questions for later times. “And if you don’t want to help, I understand. But it is a simple favour, and I would love it if you could help me.”

This time, they all nodded.

Lilith grinned.

 

 ============================================================================================================= 

When Lilith came back to her room, she had entertained the idea that Myrcella may have been there. She hadn’t seen her sister in a while, Lilith reckoned she was getting as antsy as the little girl. But instead of it being Myrcella on the edge of her bed when she arrived, Lilith did a double take when Cersei came into view.

“And what do you have for me?” Lilith quirked an eyebrow at the impatience in Cersei’s tone, expecting a stoic small talk first before matters were spoken of at hand.

“You said it would take time, Cersei.”

“The correct term is Your Majesty.” Cersei replied, but with a lack of heat. It seemed she was resigned to her and Lilith being one and the same, no one better or worse. Good.

“Mmhm. Anyway, I managed a session in the small council, only one though. Robert said no more, and Jon Arryn doesn’t seem to like me very much. But I’ve made friends, they will look over the meetings and report back to me.”

“You cannot have made spies in a matter of days.”

“ _Hours_ , actually. And I prefer the term friend, spy sounds too hostile.”

Cersei said nothing, only looked at her through her lashes, mouth pursed into a thin line, her face disbelieving. A flash in her eyes though told Lilith all that she needed to know: Cersei was impressed.

Oddly, that thought sat well with her.

“How do I know I can trust them?”

“ _You_ don’t. I do. Believe me, they would gain nothing from lying to me, and they seem to…like me.” Like barely scratched the surface, if she didn’t know any better she would say they worshipped her. It was unsettling, yet deep down it made her straighten in pride, that even in this world she could find loyalty and followers.

Though for a completely different cause.

“Very well. See that they do their jobs legitimately, and that no mistakes are performed. As for you, I’ve spoken to Robert. He agrees with me that since you and the Bolton are not to be wed, that you need experience in courting. He has decided you are to be one of my ladies in waiting.”

Lilith outwardly groaned. “When I said equals, I didn’t realise you probably have no idea what it means.”

“Don’t be irritating. I agreed to us being on the same ground in private. In public, however, all still know me as the Queen, and you a princess. It is the most logical plan, you as my secret protector out in the open.” She looked a tad smug for her liking.

“How did Robert agree to _that_?”

“How I convinced Robert is none of your concern.”

“Did it involve me?”

“Your name was mentioned, yes.”

“Then isn’t it in my rights to know?”

“Will you tell me of your gifts, seeing how it is me who you are protecting?”

Lilith was silent at that.

“I believe we have our answer then.” Cersei’s smirk enlarged at that, satisfied. It made Lilith want to growl at her, punch her in her pretty plump mouth. Twice. She cursed herself at that thought, wondering when she became this aggressive. Was it due to Robert’s influence throughout the years? Lilith had never seen herself as violent, not before the last few months, and not in her previous world, where her snapping was either due to her reckless heats of the moment, or of course when Tom had taken possession of her. 

But this…she didn’t know what she was becoming. It scared and thrilled her, though she would never admit the latter was true.

“A lady in waiting, what fun. Do I have to follow you around all day? Tell you you look pretty in that dress? What if you look fat?” 

“Then I will have you flogged for insulting the Queen with false accusations.” Came Cersei’s matter of fact answer, and Lilith had to bite the insides of her cheek to prevent herself from laughing.

“What about your brother? He’s already suspecting that something’s going on.”

“Yes, because Jaime’s loyalty to the King is well known." 

“Don’t sass me, Cersei, I’m making some valid points here.”

Cersei got up from the edge of the bed she was perched on, and came over to Lilith. Automatically she tensed, every time they held a conversation like this usually ended unpleasantly. But instead of Cersei attempting a form of intimidation, Lilith saw no threats in her green eyes. Simply a calm breeze of emerald, watching her patiently. Her breath fanned on Lilith’s face, giving her Goosebumps across her flesh.

“It is good you have questions. But leave the important matters to me. I am capable of handling matters myself.”

“Then why am I here?”

She huffed out a laugh, catching Lilith off guard. She had never heard that sound out of that woman before, it was very weird.

“You’re too smart for your own good. But don’t worry yourself with the fallout of our arrangement. Your main gift may be underestimation, but don’t think it hasn’t been given to others as well." 

And in a complete reverse of last times events, it was Cersei who went to the door and closed it with a bang, leaving Lilith to let out a breath she had no idea she was even holding.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it! And don't forget to leave a review
> 
> CAUSE REVIEWS ARE THE BEST THEY MAKE ME DAY PLEASE MAKE ME DAY I LOVE A GOOD DAY MAKER
> 
> That's all


	8. A Day in the Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lilith does not make friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was something else to write, I had so much fun with it
> 
> Confession tho- Tyrion is only in this for like a minute IM SORRY OKAY I LOVE HIM AS WELL HE'S J NOT RELEVANT ATM IT HURTS ME TOO

It took a total of three minutes for Lilith to find Cersei’s life dull.

Upon arriving at her room in an ungodly hour in the morning, she had met Cersei’s other lady in waiting. Of course, after realising that they were a group of the girls who had alienated her in her childhood at the Keep, she decided that internally calling them by their names was not an option. Hence One, Two, Three and Four were what she now knew them as.

Seriously. They were that awful.

They all stood in Cersei’s bedchambers while One helped her bathe in the room next door, leaving Two, Three and Four to join together in a close circle and giggle, occasionally sending Lilith snide glances.

Three minutes came and went. Enough time to understand that, if this was the company Cersei took _every day_ , she could see why the woman turned out to be a complete bitch. Or why _they_ did.

“So, Lilith.” Began Two, a false smile on her face. “You have decided to become a Lady in Waiting. How fun. You must know, however, that it is an incredibly daunting task. We see it as it being of the upmost importance to attend to the Queen, as it is our duty. As it is our _honour_. Being a helping hand to Queen Cersei, keeping her secrets as private confidants, having the task of being her close _friend_ …it is what all the women in the Keep- no- in _Westeros_ , strive to achieve. But we were chosen because we are the elite. We can make a difference. Do you comprehend this?”

Lilith shrugged. “Yep.” She popped the ‘p’, for emphasis. She was more focused on the ceiling. It was designed with ornate patterns that swirled around the walls in subtle detail, creating a beautiful, magical illusion. Ginny would have salivated over this, she was sure.

An awkward silence descended, as the three present ladies glanced at each other pointedly. Four cleared her throat and spoke, revealing a nasally high-pitched voice that had actually managed to become higher since the age of twelve.

“We take our roles as consorts to the Queen as very, _very_ important. She being the most influential woman in Westeros, after all.”

“Thought that was Robert?” Lilith said, attempting a go at kindness, hoping for laughter. She got nothing. 

“That is the King, you are speaking of.” Three held a hand to her chest, appropriately scandalised.

Lilith gasped, teasing. “I was talking of Robert, the whipping boy! How dare you assume the King, _our King_ , is a- a _female_.” 

It was comical, the way they all scowled and crossed their arms in unison.

“You just haven’t changed, have you.” It was Three that broke all pretence of kindness, narrowing her eyes as her upper lip slightly curled.

Lilith held back a bright grin. They had no idea. “Nah. I’m still the same. Very boring. Humour used as a shield, blah blah blah. My hair’s grown longer, though. So, there’s that.”

“Can you not take _anything_ seriously?”

“I take my role as consort to the Queen very seriously. She being the most influential woman in Westeros after all.”

Four gaped at her. “You’re using _my_ words! _I_ said that!”

Two rubbed her arm consolingly. “Do not listen to her, Anya.” (Wrong. Her name was officially Four.) “She’s just jealous of you.” In a quieter, hushed voice. “Don’t let the freak get to you.” 

_Freak. Freak. Freak. Freak. Freak._

But Lilith could hear her. Walking over to her in quick speed, she met Two face to face, silently taking pleasure when both Four and Three stepped significantly back from them. “I’m not a freak.”

The girl was clearly taken aback, but morphed her face to look neutral, excluding her fearful eyes. Lilith revelled in that, though this wasn’t something she’d acknowledge just yet. “I- I didn’t.”

“Word of advice. If you truly believe that you’re the Queen’s special secret keeper, learn how to fucking _whisper_. Nod if you _comprehend this_?”

Two nodded.

Then Lilith smiled brightly, clapping the girl on the face and turning around. She immediately felt guilt spike up within her chest and wrap its hand around her stomach. The anger she felt was so new. She knew for a fact in the Other World (as she now took to call it) she had been level-headed and incredibly easy going. Sure, Lilith hadn’t forgotten her reckless tendencies, but it was not based on any anger she felt. It was just her. Had this world changed her that significantly? Was she still changing?

Or was this who she was meant to be?

She could feel the heat of the glares she was being given, but Lilith honestly could not be bothered anymore. Actually, she was confused why she bothered to begin with. 

Besides, she lost all thought of them when Cersei came in the room, now fully dressed in a deep red dress that swished down to her ankles elegantly, and just enough cleavage for people to most certainly glimpse down. One was also behind her, and Lilith noted that she looked a tad smug, probably since Cersei had chosen her to help her bathe. She’d definitely beam with glee if Cersei asked her to help her on the chamber pots, Lilith decided. Then tried her best not to laugh at that, though felt happier once she believed the guilt from earlier on to have slightly dissipated. 

“Oh, Your Grace.” Stammered Three. “We were just speaking of your radiance, and to the gods, you did yourself justice.”

“No, you weren’t, I heard everything. Lilith, duckling, escort me to breakfast. The rest of you, return to your chambers until I have need of you.”

She literally _glided_ out the room, causing the five others to gape in her wake. Lilith eventually snapped her mouth shut, and this time barely refrained from holding in her cackle as she walked after Cersei, a light spring in her step as she did.

When Lilith caught up with her, they walked side by side for a few seconds. That’s when she started laughing.

“You made them practically wet themselves with a few sentences.” 

Cersei hummed, her mouth still in a straight line. “They’re all trying to climb the ladder. Attempting to flatter me so I can be their consort, and they can tell my secrets to their families. When I lived in Casterly Rock, I had the same issues at hand. Girls trying to gain my trust, squeeze secrets out of me like ripe fruit, in order to brag to any who would listen. It makes them feel powerful, holding someone with real power’s vulnerability in the palm of their hand.” 

Lilith agreed, laughter forgotten. “There’s a stigma attached to a name. Saying they have ties with you makes them feel only for a second what you’ve had to feel for a lifetime.”

“And what makes you know that?”

“Well, being the child of the King of Westeros.”

Cersei shook her head. “No, no. I know for I fact that no one has attempted to take advantage of your new-found legitimacy. You have no friends, apart from my own children. And with my Ladies in Waiting, not once did you attempt to use your name as a defence. Yet you speak as if you understand what I am talking about.”

Lilith huffed out a breath, very quickly becoming agitated, and stood to a halt. Surprise shook through her as she realised Cersei did the same. “Why is it that whenever we have a conversation, one of us is analysed?”

She shrugged with one shoulder. “Mayhaps it is our own personalities clashing against one another. Like two swords.”

“You’re probably right. But I don’t want a therapist.”

“A what?”

“Someone who you can talk to about your problems. You pay them money for it, and they offer advice.”

“How entertaining. Do you need a therapist?” 

“I thought we weren’t going to analyse each other.”

“I never agreed to that. And it was only a question.”

Lilith looked at the ground when thinking of her answer. She thought of the war, of her time as an Auror, Robert falling to the ground in pain. Of her reaction to the ghosts around her, of her reaction to the word _freak_. 

“I really do, actually.”

“That is true. You anger easily.” 

Lilith smiled without heat, though one eyebrow was perked up. “Coming from you? You thought I was plotting Joffrey’s assassination when I spoke to Varys.”

Cersei resumed walking at that, though she did reply. “You still might be.”

“Oh of course. The first person I go to about killing a prince is one of the most loyal people to the King.”

“If you truly believe that, than you are a fool. And stop speaking so loudly, people may actually hear what you’re saying.”

They then resumed step by step strolling in silence. Until Cersei broke it. 

“You were right about one thing.”

“What?” They reached the doors of the royal dining hall, allowing a guard to open the door for them. 

“The girl could not whisper for shit.”

Lilith’s cackle echoed throughout the room. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyrion Lannister was a kind man. All the times Lilith had spoken to him, he never belittled or treated her differently for her being a bastard. In fact, he had treated her the same as any other, with a heavy amount of respect that no one, not even her father, could emulate. When she was legitimised, he had dipped his head and bowed in front of her, causing her to giggle. They weren’t close, not at all, but if she ever saw him she would smile, and vice versa.

At the dining hall when Lilith smiled at him this time, she did not receive one back. Instead she was given a baffled glance. 

“Your _Lady in Waiting_? Is this a jest?” Tyrion looked over to his brother with raised eyebrows, where Jaime himself looked like he could not form an answer. Lilith hid her grin behind her cup. 

“Not at all. Robert suggested that since she remains unwed, I should take her under my care. Educate her of the topics that man cannot.”

Myrcella, sitting opposite her mother, practically buzzed with excitement. “I think it’s amazing! Now I can see Lilith all the time! We’ll have so much fun- do you want to go to the woods this afternoon? I have my sowing lessons after my meal, but it’ll give me something to look forward to!”

“No you cannot.” Cersei replied before Lilith could even open her mouth. “You have other duties to attend to. Besides, Lilith will be helping me with my duties.”

Lilith threw Myrcella an apologetic look before turning her attention back to Cersei. “What are we doing then?”

“We’re buying dresses for the upcoming tourney in but a week’s time.” She deadpanned, taking a weightier gulp of her wine. _In the morning. Was that concerning?_

“Sound less happy about that, Your Grace.”

“Stop talking. Eat your bacon.”

Lilith glared at her, knowing what she was doing. She knew her weakness was bacon, she was trying to make her put her _pride_. Before _bacon_.

Cersei raised challenging eyebrows at her, causing Lilith’s glare to heaten. “I will eat this bacon because I want to eat this bacon. Not because you told me to.”

“If that is what you believe.”

_Smug Cow._

“It is.”

“Good.”

“I’m going to eat it now.”

“No need to announce that to all present.”

She took a strip of the bacon and brought it to her lips.

“With your hands. How lady-like.”

She brought the whole strip to her mouth and put it in one, chewing ferociously.

“Lovely.” Cersei drawled, the slightest upturn of her lips.

“Mother! That’s bad manners.” Tommen’s voice broke her out of whatever she was doing with Cersei, though looking at the woman it seemed she was unaffected, gazing back to Tommen with a soft smile reserved for him and her children alone.

Strangely, Lilith felt a pang of something unpleasant at that. It felt bitter.

“Yes, yes it was. But one cannot reason with savages.”

Lilith gave her another glare, annoyed that none of them were working on her.

“This is…most interesting. I am gone from family events for barely a few weeks. I return and find…this.” He gave Cersei an odd look, before focusing on Jaime. “You never said anything.” 

He shrugged. “I did not know how to phrase it. Besides, you had to see it for yourself.”

“Or, perhaps,” Cersei interrupted their conversation. “It was neither or your concern. What I do with my time has no impact on either of you. Anyways, _dear brother_ , isn’t there a certain house that is waiting for you?” 

“Ah yes. I must go and see a woman about a mysterious sensation that needs scratching.” He slid off his chair, but before he left the hall, he gazed at Lilith. “Good luck to you, Baratheon.” 

“And yourself, Tyrion.” He left the room.

“Now, why does he get _Tyrion_ , and I get insulted. That hardly seems fair, bastard.”

“It’s because I occasionally enjoy his company. Not like that”, she continued when she saw Jaime’s smirk.

“I didn’t say anything, bastard.”

“Oh you thought it.”

“What did I think?”

“There are children present, brother.” Came Cersei’s voice, echoing throughout the room despite her soft tone. “And they have finished their meal. Escort them to their lessons.”

Jaime perked up at that, looking at Cersei with…gratitude? That was interesting. 

“Can Lilith come with us?” Myrcella asked.

“We’ve been through this, Myrcella.” The girl in question huffed in reply, eventually sulking off with Jaime and Tommen. Leaving them.

“Come.” Cersei announced, uncaring that Lilith was in the middle of eating her bacon. “Let us attend duties.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day dragged on and on and on, and it was mid numbingly painful.

The afternoon consisted of people coming into Cersei's chambers with different dresses. The woman hated all of them, even though they were all drop dead gorgeous and Lilith had considered nicking some for herself.

Part of her thought Cersei was taking so long to decide just to spite her. It made sense, but then again, Cersei had looked genuinely disgusted with all the clothes presented.

After a few hours, Lilith finally snapped. "Why can't you just pick one! They're all decent."

And Cersei had gone into a full on lecture, of why this wasn't going to happen.

_It's Joffrey's first tourney playing blah blah blah show the kingdom his strength blah blah blah he was a prodigy in the making blah. Blah. Blah._

Yes. She did zone out through the _fucking monologue._

The day did draw to a close, and Lilith was elated when she had the evening to herself, since the other Ladies in Waiting were called into attendance. But this did not mean the day was over.

Going to her chambers, she gave a small smile to Janick who floated beside her bed. "Hello."

He frowned. "Hello? What does that mean?"

"It's a form of greeting."

"Oh. Hello", he tried it out with his lips. "I like it." He beamed at her.

Lilith got the impression she was being sucked up to. Was this a ghost trait? Or was this a little boy with a crush?

"That's nice. So, what do you have for me today?"

"Well all my friends love you. It's been years since they spoke to a Solid, so it was refres"-

"No, I meant amongst the Solids, Janick."

"Oh right. Well in the town people are starting to speak about you. I mean, no one's really spoken about the Baratheons at all, except you. I had never really heard your name being passed around until this week, really. The town people hear you're very pretty, though they haven't seen you though." He looked at her. "I have." His cheeks pinked.

_Ah, a crush then._

"Is that it? That I'm pretty?"

"No. There are rumours that your father hit you. Is that true?"

"No," She lied. "What about in the Keep? Any plots or rebellions?"

He brightened up. "No, but the Keep's where it gets interesting! Glid, the skinny boy with all the freckles, he was spying on those council members. You know, the one's that discuss matters with the King. One of them's this old man, he was talking about you to, well, I think it was a _spy_."

Interesting. "What did he say?"

"He said Lilith Baratheon is not who she says she is. Apparently, he thinks you're not really Robert's daughter."

What?

"Who said that? _Who said that_?"

"Um, some man, the spy called him- Jon. Jon Arryn."

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thats it woop woop  
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> 
> (insert northern accent) YOU ARE MY QUEENS


	9. Digging a Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lilith has shit to do. Which hits the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is quite plot based, who don't love a lil bit of plot?

When Lilith was six years old, she was invited to her first ball.

Well, This World’s first ball. In her world, there would be so many of them, where Harry would next to always loathe: people with sticks up their arse all swarming around her with their insensitive questions. _You look tired, poor thing. Do you have dreams of him? The Dark Lord. How do you cope? How do you cope? How. Do. You. Cope._

But this was Westeros. This was where events like these were at their peak of excellence; gorgeous magical dresses that swooshed passed women’s feet like fire. Themed dancing in uniformity that showed off one’s talent in the art, cheer in the air over something so _exciting._ And to top it off, people simply didn’t care who Lilith was there. Lily had to take advantage of the ball, it was the only time in This World where she was actually genuinely enthusiastic.

So, six years old and fairly bored, she decided to practice her incredibly average dancing in a wide-open space, meaning the throne room where surprisingly, no one was in sight. At first.

One step back, two steps forward, twirl, twirl back, step to the side-

“The fuck are you doing?”

Lilith continued her movements, ignoring Robert’s amused voice. From what she’d gathered, he didn’t care a lick about the ball. Gossip had vaguely informed her that the events at hand usually saw Robert eating practically the whole feast, gathered by a group of women, she suspected whores. She didn’t doubt that one bit; the King always reeked of sex, and while not sufficiently fat, Lilith could see there was a steady amount of weight increasing on his bones.

“The Ball’s tonight. I’m dancing. Well, trying to.”

He booted out a deep chuckle which vibrated throughout the walls in the room. It made Lilith feel further isolated, the enhanced validation that no one else was present but the big man with the big laugh.

“Don’t bother. No one’s going to ask a Bastard for a bloody spin round the room.”

Lilith stopped practising at that. Instead she turned to face him and looked at him as if he was asinine. “I _know_ that. Why would I want a partner? I’m going to dance by myself. That way I’ll have fun.”

Robert’s raised eyebrows lowered back to their original place, and his mocking grin faded into something slightly more tender. He began to strut closer to her.

“That’s not how these things work, girl.”

“Don’t worry if it embarrasses you. I can dance in the corner where no one will notice. I just want to dance near the music.”

“We’re opposites, then. Can’t stand the bloody screeching. Besides, everyone there will want to pay me a fucking _compliment_ , as if the sun shines out my arse.”

Lilith couldn’t help but giggle at that, remembering thinking something similar after the war. Well, many, _many_ months later. She wasn’t exactly the Wizarding World’s sweetheart for a while there.

“Dancing in a corner, though. That’s depressing. You didn’t get an invitation just so you could be a sad sack of shit.”

“Why _was_ I invited? We gathered it won’t be much fun for a Waters.”

Robert shrugged. “Suppose you’re the only being in Westeros who doesn’t bore me to death.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. But, as per usual, Robert filled in the blanks.

“Your back needs to be straighter during the glide. Otherwise you look like a hunchback next to your partner.”

“I’m not going to have anyone to dance with.”

He scoffed. “Bollocks. I was too harsh before. I mean look at you! Big eyes and tiny hands, you even have my nose. You’ll be the centre of attention! Besides, I’ll dance with you.”

Her apparently big eyes widened in disbelief. “Really?”

“Not if you look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Some sort of overexcited dog.”

Lily calmed her face, though the same could not be said of her thumping, warmed heart.”

“Fuck sake you’re adorable.” He huffed, a small smile playing on his lips. Her father beckoned a hand out to her. “I’ve been dancing before I could walk, back when I had to listen to other people’s shit. I can teach you.”

She took his hand, enjoying the sensation of his huge hot hand in her cold little one.

“Thank you, Your Grace.”

“Pah! Call me father, little shit.”

“Then call me Lily, _father_.”

He gently squeezed her hand, leading her to the centre of the hall.

“It’s a deal.”

 

\---------------------- 

 

Lilith had an ordinary face, she decided. Her fingers guided across her visage, feeling her features for herself. Her forehead was a fine size: not too humungous but definitely there. Her eyebrows were thin and long, and below them lay her big green eyes, alert and vibrant and very, very bright. She had a small nose and relatively plump lips, all fitted in a heart shaped face. While pale, she knew her time in the sun had left her with vague tracings of freckles that were splattered on her cheeks and nose. Lily never cared much for appearance in either world, but she understood that she looked practically the same in This World as she did in her own. A few less scars for sure though, as she absentmindedly touched the spot on her forehead that was now clear. But the same, altogether.

Except Lilith knew, without a doubt, that she looked like Robert.

She had been told this countless times. Those who acknowledged her in court had remarked upon it, foreign guests had joked about who her father could possibly be. It wasn’t questioned. Rumours had been spread when Lilith was legitimised. _Obviously he wanted to have a royal child that actually looked like him. Pure Baratheon that one, no Lannister in sight. Shame her mother was a whore._

So how, and _why_ , could Jon Arryn say something like that?

“It’s absolute bollocks.” Sabyne declared as she floated around the room in her own form of Spirit Pacing. “Look at ya! A mini version of ‘im, if you ask me!” She caught on to Lilith’s glare. “A younger, healthier lookin version, of course.”

Lilith decided to turn her attentions to Janick, and the friend he had brought with him. Glid, she thought it was.

“Do you know why he would say that? Has he told anyone else this?”

“I- I don’t think so. I think it was his first time telling anyone, he looked h-hesitant.” Glid said, nibbling at his lower lip. “L-like he finally l-let out w-what he had been thinking for a-a while.”

“What did the spy say? Did he agree?” Sabyne asked.

“He didn’t s-say anything. He looked a bit shocked, b-but he kept himself to himself, and t-took the letter.”

“The _what_?”

“Jon Arryn gave him a letter. I w-wasn’t able to read it.”

They all gaped at him.

“What?”

Lilith slowly massaged her forehead, feeling a migraine coming on. “Do you think that maybe, the letter contained his opinion of me in it? That he might be telling someone, perhaps someone with power, about this?”

Shock formed on Glid’s face. “I d-didn’t think about that.”

“Some spies you ave.” Remarked Sabyne, staring at Glid condescendingly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t m-mean”-

“It doesn’t really matter though, does it?” Janick looked at everyone, seemingly confused. “I mean, it’s not very nice, but what’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like anyone would believe him, I can see the similarities and I’m not even important! And what would Robert do, kill you? It’s not like he’d ever hurt you.”

Sabyne opened her mouth to reply to that, but Lilith was quicker. “You’re right. But if word does get out from someone powerful, then I could be shunned. Mayhaps someone would try to harm me in the name of the King’s honour. Or Robert would have me banished, and I’m under a, um, _contract_ , of sorts. I’m not leaving until my requirements for that have been fulfilled.”

Moisture leaked from Glid’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I am really, really s-sorry.”

“Nah, no use crying, Glid. It _is_ Glid, right?” He nodded. “It’s not your fault. _Well_ , it slightly is, since you didn’t clock that the letter wasn’t _most definite_ ly about me but forgive and forget. Not even forgive, cause there’s nothing to forgive. I mean, there slightly is”-

“You’re ramblin.”

“She’s allowed to ramble if she wants to!” Janick glared at Sabyne.

“Well, she’s right, I am. We just need a plan.” She looked down at Janick, who had ended up in front of her, as if he was trying to be a shield. A practically see-through shield.

“Janick.” He straightened at her attention. “Do you know any spirit that is competent?”

He nodded. “Myself.”

“ _Anyone_ else?”

He hummed in consideration. “Mauranne. Everyone says she’s perceptive.”

“Tell her Lilith Baratheon needs her to keep an eye on Jon Arryn from now on. Every conversation he has, every letter he writes, if he mumbles in his sleep. _Anything_.”

“Don’t worry. She knows.”

“ _What_?”

Janick smiled. “When you gave her instructions. She heard you. She knows.”

_What on earth did that mean?_

Lilith shook her head, not willing to delve into her list of growing powers at the moment. “Right. Glid.” His head shot up, and she could tell his eyes were red and puffy. “You stick with me tomorrow. It’s the tourney then, all you have to do is scout out the spy that Jon Arryn spoke to. If he’s not there, it’s fine.”

Glid relaxed his posture. “I can do that.”

A cough behind her prompted Lilith to focus on Sabyne, whose hands were on her hips as she looked visibly frustrated. “An what do I get to do?” 

At once, she knew exactly what. “Stay in my room. See if anyone comes in.”

“That’s rubbish!”

“It’s a loose end. Everything has to be accounted for.” She turned to Janick, who looked at her expectantly. “You and the rest of your friends”-

“ _Our_ friends”.

“Our friends, right. Still keep an eye out for anything odd. Especially who the members of the Privy Council talk to, they’re clearly shady fucks.”

Janick giggled at that, and Sabyne nodded her head in agreement. When Glid and Janick eventually left, the elderly woman remained. She gazed at Lilith for a few moments. Then a look was introduced on her face, and her mouth opened as if she was going to say something. It then snapped shut, and she gave a small chuckle to herself, as if what she had in mind to say was utterly ridiculous.

 

\-----------------

 

The tourney was a long event but it was organised well. Stacked with rows and rows of people, it was cleverly designed that the better the seat, the more important one was. It made Lilith irritated, to see hierarchy in its most monstrous form. As if a line had been drawn between the people and those who saw themselves above them. 

Lilith shifted uncomfortably. Maybe in another life, Tom would have seen that as a goal of his. Though much worse fates to those below what he deemed good enough.

“Stop fidgeting.” Cersei hissed next to her, as still as a statue, and the poise of a…well, Queen, of course. Lilith glared at her and blew on a strand of hair that was half-heartedly covering her eyes. The strand lifted up, then calmly went back to its previous position. 

“When I allowed you to sit with me, I did not foresee myself having to look after a _child_.” She spat the words out, clearly annoyed.

“This is so dull!” Lilith whispered loudly. “Do you really have to do this all the time?”

“It is a sacrifice a Queen must make.” She sounded like a martyr, just _begging_ Lilith to roll her eyes at the _poor soul_.

“Wow. Just tell anyone who wants the throne that sob story, they’ll back right off.”

“I don’t understand your whining. You must have been to several tourneys.”

Lily shrugged. “As the bastard of the King, I was put over there.” She pointed to a row far back ahead of them. “It was easy to sneak off. Well I say _sneak off_ , I could have crossed the tournament itself and no one would have batted an eye,” she said, sounding just a bit too smug about that.

“What a shame. If I were to perform those actions, all would bow as I passed. The horses too, I imagine.”

An involuntary giggle fell out of her lips at that, one loud enough for Cersei’s Ladies in Waiting, sitting a few rows ahead, to turn around at the noise. They all tried to withhold a glare at Lilith in front of the Queen, it seemed, but Two wasn’t successful. To Lilith, she looked a tad constipated with anger. It made the young witch’s smile widen, and Two’s glare intensify.

“My ladies in waiting despise you.” Cersei commented idly. “It is understandable, I suppose. I did overhear your conversation the other day.” 

“Then you heard that my anger was unprovoked. How do you _put up_ with that? The constant sucking up, the belief they have some of moral duty to help you? What is that?”

“It is what people should act like when they are around me.” The dig was not subtle in the slightest.

“I thought you didn’t like social climbers?”

“I don’t. But in Westeros, everyone is one. It is the way of life.”

“But not for you?”

“If I wasn’t the Queen, things would be significantly different for me.” She spoke these words calmly, but her tone was cagey. Daring anyone to ask further questions. So Lilith didn’t. 

The tourney continued.

Nothing of great importance happened. Rounds came and went, winders raised their fist in victory, most losers maintained a pseud of nobility at their loss (Lilith didn’t buy it- she could see the tension in their shoulders, in the way their fists were clenched and their shaking with anger), but it was fairly mundane. As mundane as something could be in a medieval land, of course.

And apparently, Cersei agreed. If her clenching jaw to block out a yawn from being seen was any indication.

“You’re bored.” Lilith teased, causing Cersei to scowl.

“Can you blame me?”

“Nope! Just glad you’re admitting it." 

“Mm. It would also be best to keep up appearances, give them nothing to report back to.”

“What do you mean?”

Cersei gave her a condescending look, similar to that of Sabyne the night before. It was the look of someone who believed they had so much to teach. Pity Lilith had learnt her fill.

“Look around you.” She gazed at the people in all the rows, around her, and those playing. “More than half the people you see are none other than spies. Some of them are mine, of course.”

“What?” Cersei raised an eyebrow at her spluttering. “That’s, they’re _everywhere_.”

“Indeed.”

“I don’t understand.” She understood that those in power had spies, but this was _ridiculous._

“Then perhaps this is my first lesson to you, duckling. All who play the Game of Thrones have spies. It’d be suicide otherwise. They are a form of protection, and form of knowledge, and a form of power.”

“Those three overlap.”

“Less so than you’d think.” But before she could reply to that, Cersei’s attention was grabbed.

“Joffrey is now performing.” She straightened on her seat and stared at Lilith until she begrudgingly copied her.

“He’s thirteen. How is he going to win? Will they rig it?”

“Hush.” Lilith stared at Cersei, whose eyes were pouring out with love when her son came into view, the boy being in armour atop of a horse. She had to fight a sneer at the sight of him. He does not deserve her attention; a voice rang in her head. She frowned at herself, wondering where that had come from. 

“Psst.” Lilith saw Glid, who was currently through Cersei as he looked at her beseechingly. “I’ve found him!”

“Who?”

“The spy!” Glid ran, pointing to the inside of the Keep.

Before she knew what she was doing, Lilith shot up from her chair, causing those around her to star at her in bemusement. Except Cersei, whose eyes were essentially screaming at her to sit back down, most likely.

“I must leave! I, um, find this boring!” And ignoring the gasps she caused and the scandal it would most probably lead to, Lilith found the nearest door and ran to it after Glid.

 

\-------------------- 

 

“My Lady! What on earth are you doing here?” Jon Arryn looked alarmed, yet his eyes held suspicion.

 _Fair enough_ , Lilith thought. _Considering I just barged in on you and your spy._

They had caught up with the Spy, who had gone into the chambers of, and Lilith had no doubt about it, the chambers of Jon Arryn. And suddenly to her, she realised that none of it mattered. Why was she playing the game? This political bullshit, Lilith hated every second of it. Being Cersei’s bodyguard and, to put it bluntly, spy, didn’t mean she had to become one of the players in this Game, no.

It meant she had to be better than them.

So she had stormed in, without a plan and a spirit behind her just as confused by her actions as she was.

“What’s the matter, Jonny boy. Am I being nosy? Am I breaching on your personal life?”

“I must ask you to leave, _my Lady_.” His voice had become firm, a slight commanding tinge to it. It only made her resolve harden. _In for a penny, in for a pound._

She strutted through the room, taking in his layout. He led a very simple life, it seemed. Nothing ornate there to see, the main spectacle in his chambers being a plain bed, and layers of shelves which held many books.

“I’ve been hearing things, Jon. Apparently, you’ve been telling people I’m not the real daughter of a certain Robert Baratheon. I would like to know why you think this.”

His face betrayed nothing at that, as if his emotions had left him, and here remained a shell of a man. Maybe she was right.

“I know nothing of the sort, but I am deeply sorry for your hearing of this. King’s Landing can be a vicious verbal battle, as you are well aware of.”

“Merlin’s sake, I am not going to have a passive aggressive conversation with you. I want to know why you think this. _You,_ stay here!” She pointed at the Spy who had slowly attempted to leave the room. At this, a bright light shot at the door, and it closed on its own accord. Or Lilith’s accord.

The Spy and Jon looked at what had just occurred. They stared at the door, and then back at Lilith’s hand. Trying to find the pure light that had released from it.

Behind her, Glid grinned. “That was beautiful!”

Jon stepped forward. “This is some sort of hoax.” He mused aloud.

She grinned at him, though it was forced. Her magic was back, enveloping her with protection. But it felt different this time. Last time was Lilith being on the defensive. This had the feeling of an upcoming attack.

“Believe what you want. I believe that you’ve been suspicious about me. I know it.”

“I am afraid, young lady, that you have heard these horrendous claims through another’s lips. I must retain my innocence. Now will you excuse me, I must be going.” He attempted to move towards the door, but Lilith stepped into his path. No more lies now.

“You’re not leaving. I want answers. The information you tell me stays in this room, I promise. Just between you and me.” She gestured at the trembling Spy. “And you. What’s your name?”

“Brynosh.” He murmured

She nodded gravely. “I’m not going to remember that.” Any other time, Lilith would have laughed at the Merlin-awful name. But not then.

“I understand you are a most trustworthy girl. But I do insist, these vile words were never uttered from my own lips.”

She turned to the Spy (of course the witch would never call him Brynosh.) “He told you.”

“I-um, no, um, no. Of course not.”

Glid snorted behind her. “He’s a terrible liar.”

“Now, Lady Lilith, this is becoming absolutely preposterous! We are unaware of who has spoken these false accusations, but we will get nowhere debating my innocence! I really do demand we leave my room! Your father will not be pleased with this utterly inappropriate behaviour!”

But Lilith would not be deterred. “Tell me why. And then I’ll let you leave." Even she was surprised at the venom in her voice. What was she becoming?

“I never said anything of the sort.” Her blood began to boil. “But if someone were to say something so vulgar, they must have had a good reason.”

“And what would that _good reason_ be?”

“I do not know.”

Lilith’s heart began to race wildly, each thump clanging in her ears and ringing in her mind.

“Tell me.”

“I said”-

“No. You didn’t. Tell me. _Now._ ”

Absently, she noticed the room began to change. Cracks started dancing around the walls, and the bed began to shake. But her priority was Jon.

“I- I don’t think this is a g-good idea, Lilith.” Glid’s voice wavered behind her. “Why does this matter so m-much.”

Why _did_ this matter so much?

Why did this matter?

Why?

Why?

The room began to shake, all around her it began to appear more chaotic. Sounds vibrated around the room like thunder in a rainforest, books began to fall from the shelves, and suddenly altogether as the shelf split entirely. Jon’s initial neutral face had morphed into one of confused shock, glancing at his room in mystery. Yet there was fear there, and Lilith fed on that.

“ _Just tell me_.”

“I don’t know! I don’t know!”

“What is wrong with you?! Why can’t you be honest, why can’t anyone here be honest?”

His gulp was enormous. “I do not know. I just don’t know!”

“Is that all you know how to say?! You deny me a family and then become brain dead?!”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Just the truth! That’s all! Just the fucking truth!” The air around her was confining, she felt she couldn’t breathe. Distantly, she heard screaming, further factors that were bending her strand of patience. One final lie, and Lilith knew she would snap.

“I have given you the truth! I have!”

Snap.

“You fucking _liar_!”

And with that, the light shone from her fingers once more and shot into him. He flew across the room, where his back hit the wall and he fell with a loud dump.

The room stopped shaking at once. It fell deathly silent, save for the heavy breathing from Lilith as she grabbed onto the edge of the wall and heaved. Next to her, Glid was hovering by, shock etched across his face. Not fear though, she noticed when he smiled at her timidly. There was certainly awe, though.

She turned to the Spy, exhausted and scared. _Of herself_? _Of why she cared_? Lilith was too tired to find out.

“I don’t know either!” The Spy shrieked, his pale face having gone even whiter in the five minutes Lilith had known him. “He said as much to me, but I never asked why! I don’t know! Don’t kill me!”

Lilith swallowed the bile lodged in her throat and flapped a hand at him uncaringly. “You are _useless_.” And once again, the light came and brought him to the ground, giving him what Lilith saw as mercy, in unconsciousness.

Snap.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID YA LUV IT? DIDJA HATE IT? let me know!
> 
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	10. Partners in Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Cersei gets involved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very Cersei/Harry based just a heads up

Later, they would call it the Wrath of the gods.

Once Lilith had stumbled out of her door, she was met with utter chaos. People ran past her frantically, and from the gardens she could see others approaching the Keep with wide eyes. Shrieks were all around her and she pinched the bridge of her nose in a vain attempt to stop the overwhelming migraine that threatened to consume her mind. It was all too much. It was all too sudden.

“Lilith c-come back!” Glid called out behind her. But couldn’t he tell it was too much?

“I need space, Glid. Leave me alone.” Uncaring to see any sort of hurt expression on his face, Lilith started on her path. Perhaps to make sense of what had just happened by hearing it from an outsiders lips, she wasn’t sure why she was going where she was.

She walked through the crowd that was spreading through the Keep like wildfire and managed to retain her balance as the witch eventually found the Throne room. Inside, she was once again met with the impending sense of panic. Many stood in the cloisters talking over one another. The centre of the room saw the same thing. The throne was occupied by her father and surrounding him was Cersei, the other Lannisters, and a servant she had briefly seen before.

She could feel Cersei’s eyes on her.

“Lily!” Myrcella ran down the stairs to Lilith, and Lilith managed a small smile before she embraced her sister. Immediately she felt slightly better, but that was Myrcella for you.

“Did you feel the shake? Everyone was screaming, it was so scary! And Tommen left to his chambers.” She leaned in to whisper to Lilith. “Uncle Jaime says he goes to his bed to sleep whenever something bad happens so his dreams can take him away. Don’t tell anyone.” Anyone meaning Joffrey, of course.

And speak of the Devil.

“Bastard sister. You look horrendous,” Joffrey said, a small smirk taking form on his face as he looked her up and down.

“Joffrey, that’s not kind,” Myrcella murmured with a frown, but she looked at the floor as she said it, making her words jumbled. 

“Honesty can be unkind. I take it the Shudder unsettled you, I thought it would. Women can be annoyingly hysterical. Take Myrcella, who wailed during the quake for her mother. Irritating and unnecessary.”

Myrcella looked like she wanted to melt into the floor. Lilith felt defence rise up in her throat for her sister, but no anger. Like it had been used up. Before she could say anything, Joffrey continued.

“Did you see me at the tourney? I was winning by miles; my opponent is as weak as he is ugly. It is a good trait for a future King; Father has the reputation of being one of the most ferocious fighters. Pity you were not a boy, it would have been excellent competition to go up against you. Pity, that.”

“I don’t have time today, Joffrey. I want to speak to my father.”

Instantly his face darkened. “You will _make time_." 

“Alright, I’m free next week.” She tried to walk forwards, but he blocked her path.

“I do not care for how you address me.”

“Not now, Joffrey. I’ll speak to you later. Not. Now.”

He didn’t move from where he stood, but Lilith had had enough of this. A part of her wanted to find out information from a less bratty source, but Lilith knew the main reason. She wanted to speak to her father. 

Lilith walked up the stairs to the throne, making eye contact with Robert who was slouched on it with a grave expression on his face. His eyes were slightly glassy from his almost always drunken state, but from his frown she could see he was slowly sobering up. When he saw her, he nodded to himself. 

“Good, you’re alive. You look like shit.”

“ _Alive_? What’s going on?” 

“Don’t be tiresome, surely you felt that? The earth moved. It _shook_. How can I explain something I don’t understand myself?” He gestured to the people below his throne, all too wrapped up in talking about the events to try and make sense of them. He slumped in his chair and turned to the servant next to him. “Fuck it. Get me wine.”

The servant left to the door behind them, a slight tremble in his step. It appeared that everyone was afraid of the apparent Shake. Lilith just felt sick about the whole thing. A nightmare that would slowly fade from memory through being awake long enough, the exact opposite of Tommen. But she was awake. And she remembered everything.

“And, to top it off, can’t find my Hand. Stuck by me all this time and leaves when _I fucking need him!”_ He banged his fist on the handles of his chair, then breathed in deeply. “Coward.” He looked around the room. “ _Cowards_. The lot of them.” 

“Is there any damage?”

“Split walls, holes in the floors, collapsed statues, I’ll get someone to write a list.” 

“Any injured?” Besides the two men under a collapsed bed.

“Doesn’t look like it. Otherwise I’d already be drinking my wine. How long does it take to bring a fucking drink?!”

“What does the Council think should be done?” Lilith pressed.

“Haven’t met with them, and why should I? It’s not like they’ll be there to mend a broken table. All they’ll do is moan about me spending money to repair the damage. _There are better things to be doing with your wealth, Your Majesty. Trust us to help you, Your Majesty_. Only man I trust has fucked off.” 

“Well give him some time. It’s only been a few minutes since the… earth quaked.”

He levelled her with a look. “It’s been a few hours. You bang your head against anything, girl?”

_A few hours?_

No, that couldn’t be right. No, it had been twenty minutes ago where she had felt her powers flare up. Jon Arryn and that Spy had collapsed, she had thrown up and deposited them under the bed in a blind state of panic and had stumbled out of the door. A few hours, that wasn’t right, she would _know_ , she didn’t understand what was happening, was this a trick? Was she losing track of _time?_

“Stop staring at me like that. Speak up, girl! I’ve got enough to worry about!”

“My love, you are starting to cause a scene.” Cersei’s voice sprung Lilith’s head up in attention. She was as calm and poised as usual, though her eyes hardened when Lilith locked eyes with her.

She knew. She knew that this was Lilith’s fault.

“Lilith here has decided to make this all about her.” Her father started. Lilith tensed up, speaking her next words not out of any anger (she was sure she purged all that rage from earlier now she just felt drained), but out of respect for herself.

“Don’t take out your shitty mood on me, Father. I’m not an outlet.”

“Lilith, duckling, walk with me. Let us leave the mending to the men.” Cersei took her arm as they walked out the Throne room. Lilith sneaked a glance behind her shoulder to see Robert’s servant back with the wine and Robert’s interest immediately taken from her to the drink.

“It is unwise to speak to Robert like that. Believe me, nothing good comes from antagonising the great brute.” 

“What do you mean? What’s he done to you?”

Cersei’s lips curled. “None of your concern. A matter for another day.” 

But Lilith was worried. What did he do? Who was her father, at his core?

“Stop worrying your little head. I am fine. You, on the other hand, look terrible.”

“That’s why I like you. You always know how to flatter people.”

“I am serious. What did you do?”

She was silent at that, until they arrived at Cersei’s chambers, with, surprisingly, no one in front of the door guarding it.

“They’ve gone to help with the wreckage.” Cersei explained when Lilith turned to her in confusion.

Once they were in the room, Lilith felt slightly more at ease, knowing there was no one within earshot or sight but them. It made her sad that she felt freer within closed quarters than an actual fucking _garden._

Cersei’s door closed with a soft click, and Lilith could hear the sound of footsteps gradually drawing nearer to her. A soft sigh was audible. 

“What happened?”

Another time, Lilith would have used a sarcastic remark, something Robert would say. Maybe tease Cersei for the melodrama. But wasn’t that why she had gotten so angry at Jon Arryn? The constant flow of lies wherever she turned, wasn’t that the tipping point for her? Or maybe it was something else entirely. Either way, she knew lying would be pointless.

“It just got so out of hand.” 

Cersei seemed surprised by her honesty, making Lilith frown. She had become like everyone else in This World with her fibs pouring out her mouth. The shame introduced itself within her gut. 

“The Shudder was you then, I take it. I presume you were practising your gifts elasticity when something snapped out of your control.”

Snap.

She shook the thought from her mind with a viewable whip back and forth of her head. She heard Cersei step closer.

“No, no it wasn’t that. My…spies had told me information, someone had been telling _lies_ about me, utter lies.”

“So you confronted them. Of course, you did.” Cersei said, resignation in her tone.

“I did. And. And it just got _so out of hand_.”

“How? Don’t repeat yourself, explain it to me.”

Lilith tried to control her breathing, inhaling deeply through her nose. Her heart pounded in her chest, and the bile she had suppressed earlier wanted to work its way back up her throat.

“There was so much anger. It just came out with reckless abandon. It happened so fast, I’ve never been so angry so quickly. He flew to the wall and just…just lay there. He’s alive! He is, and the Spy too. It’s just. I just lost control. I haven’t done that in _years_.” She went and sat on the edge of Cersei’s bed, wanting to cry but not knowing how to provoke the tears into coming out her eyes. Merlin, when was the last time she had _cried?_  

She drifted in and out of her thoughts, forgetting the other presence in the room. It had been a while since she had been so honest, and Lilith couldn’t stop the rush of words that tumbled out of her mouth.

“This world is too much. I can’t breathe anywhere, and I hate it. I hate it! I hate the constant lies and passive aggressive conversations there are left right and centre. I hate how I haven’t trusted anyone for over fifteen years, including my own father. I hate how I’ve never managed to have a relationship with _any_ father, that Robert is an abusive _drunk_ , but that I can get so angry when someone tries to say he isn’t my blood. I hate that my magic is reckless here and that I have _hurt_ people, when in any other world I would have not wasted my time with them. I hate that I can’t go home to the people I love, but that leaving also means I have to rip myself away from my friends who are _dead_ , from Tommen, from _Myrcella_. And I hate that you, a woman who threatened me since before I could walk, a woman who had no interest in me before I revealed my magic, are the only person in this damned place who I can talk freely with!” 

The silence left in her wake was beautiful. Lilith still wasn’t crying, though she was breathing incredibly heavily, but she felt better, freer, now that she had released something that had been locked inside her for her whole new life.

Hesitantly, Lilith looked up. But she did not see the Queen in front of her. Instead, she felt the presence of Cersei next to her, both of them sitting on the end of the bed in contemplative silence. Neither said anything for a while, and Lilith found that it wasn’t awkward or suffocating. It was peaceful. 

“So, you’re from a different world.”

That induced a chuckle from Lilith, though it was unsteady. “That’s what you took from my tantrum?” 

“It was the most interesting message of the story, yes. That and the fact that all your friends are dead. You may have to explain that in more detail.”

Lilith gazed down at the ground. “You’re not scared of me?”

“I am not. I already knew your magic was impulsive and reckless; I saw you bring Robert to the ground.”

“So you believe everything I’ve said?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

Her laugh was a tad clearer this time. “Well, tell me when you do.”

“You’ll be the first person I come to.”

They sat there for a while, Lilith gaining comfort from the even breaths Cersei produced. Occasionally, she would feel the Queen’s eyes on her, but she ignored that, slipping into her mind for a while. 

But Cersei had more to ask, apparently.

“The men you hurt. Who were they.”

Lilith stayed silent.

“Jon Arryn has gone missing. Those in the Keep believe him to have run away. I am starting to think otherwise.”

The silence continued. Lilith heard a sigh.

“I thought you were being honest now.”

“I’m not lying, I’m just…ashamed, I suppose. And scared.”

“So, you have murdered Jon Arryn?”

“What? No! No, he’s in his room." 

She looked to Cersei, who gave her a confused frown. “What do you mean?”

Lilith itched her head, trying to form a sentence that wouldn’t make her sound like an utter idiot. Part of her was relieved by that, purging out her feelings seemed to have released a daze of self-pity and depression over her head that she didn’t clock existed- it wasn’t fully gone, but the confession had helped. But now she’d have to deal with the fallout.

“They’re knocked out. Him and his Spy. When it happened, I freaked out, I just didn’t know what to do.” In one breath, she managed to speak. “Iputthemunderthebedandleftthemthere.”

Cersei looked at her. Her eyes flashed from shock, to disappointment, to disbelief, and then acceptance.

“You’re a fool.” 

“I know.”

“Blessed with powers and yet your brain has no part in the performance.” 

“Right.”

“Did they realise you had these powers before you showed them unconsciousness?”

“For sure.”

“You fool.” 

“Yep.”

At that, Cersei smoothly rose from the bed and walked to the door, determination written on her face. “Come along.”

“We’re going to Jon Arryn’s room?”

“No, no I thought we’d go apple picking. Mayhaps plough fields while we’re living in a summers day." 

“Alright, I get it.”

“Ah good. I was afraid you wouldn’t, what with your mind being extremely spontaneous with its presence.”

 ==========

 

She was honestly surprised to see Jon Arryn’s room untouched.

That for some reason very much shocked her. Lilith had thought Jon Arryn’s disappearance would have rung a few alarm bells for people, his spies for instance. Of course leaving the room she was aware of the risk had Jon woken up, but she had been too numb to care then. Maybe a part of her even wanted to be discovered. But that thought was for another day.

“This room smells vile.” Cersei announced when she had surveyed the room, distaste flashing across her face. “Like unpreserved wine. I should not be surprised; Jon Arryn has always been a pungent man.”

“You barely see the man, yet you know what he smells like?”

“Sometimes great odours are forced upon my nostrils.”

Lilith was once again brought to silence by Cersei, but that wasn’t the main concern at this point. Instead she crouched to the bed and pulled on the first set of feet she found, taking them from the ground to viewpoint. Both Cersei and Lilith stared at the body for a few seconds. 

“Interesting”, Cersei whispered, her eyes never leaving the Spy’s limp figure. Lilith noticed he seemed fine, actually, apart from the dust off the floor, he was in fine condition. His breaths were even, and his face was peaceful. A slight weight lifted from her shoulders. 

“What’s interesting?”

“I believed this man to be _my_ spy. I now know that this was not the case.”

Lilith’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean he was fucking you over? For _Jon Arryn_?”

“Indeed.” Cersei stood calmly, but her jaw was discreetly clenched. “Bring out the Hand.”

She crouched down once more to the bed, disliking the silence completely. To brighten the mood, Lilith decided to jest. “You know, since he had the job as the Hand, he technically had a Hand Job.” 

“Oh good. My Lady in Waiting has gone from an imbecile into an _infant_.” 

The young witch smiled, glad she had managed to distract Cersei from her former ire. “I’m unpredictable, means you won’t ever get bored.”

“I’ve known that for a while.”

Lilith didn’t know what she meant by that, so she continued to pull Jon Arryn from under the bed. Once he was out in the open, she reviewed the damage caused.

It was clear he was breathing, that was a relief. But the white hair on his head was crusted with a layer of blood that dripped down his face like rain, his leg was slanted so it looked like a modern crime scene taping around a disfigured body, and his eyelids were fluttering as if he was suffering from a nightmare. The weight that had lifted from her shoulders came crashing back down, and her collar bone dipped from her shallow inhales and exhales.

What had she done?

“Gods,” Cersei said, bemusement in her gaze at Lilith. “This makes Robert’s wounds look but a cut.”

“I- I-“

“No, hush, it doesn’t matter. It is obvious what we have to do.” 

Lilith looked at her with panic, what was she thinking?

Cersei strutted to the collapsed book shelf of Jon’s. Taking a piece of wood with a pointed tip from the end of where it had parted with its pieces, she walked back to the crime scene area and gave the piece of wood to Lilith. 

“Strike quickly. It will look like he was impaled during the Shake. I am confused as to why no one has entered the room, but I assume soon there will be visitors. Do it now, time is draining from us as we speak.”

“Wh- _what_? You’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking.”

“I am.”

“ _No_.”

Cersei looked nonplussed. Had Lilith ever really known this woman? If she resorted to murder as quick as light travelled?

“Don’t be tedious, we haven’t the time.” 

“I am not killing anyone.”

The Queen’s face began to harden. “I am being kind, helping you. Do you think I help everyone in need? I am doing you a favour. You cannot finish the deal we constructed if Jon Arryn tells the King of your powers, of what he perceives as harmful magic. Kill him, kill the spy, solve your problems.”

“Is that how you solve your problems? _Unnecessary killing_?”

“This is necessary.” She hissed, grasping Lilith’s shoulders. “Have some sense, Lilith. You heard it yourself, there is no one Robert trusts more than his precious Hand. It would be his word against yours; do you expect Robert to choose _you_ , a child he has knocked to the ground from anger, over a man who has helped him balance the Seven Kingdoms?”

This made Lilith halt. Lodging down the rising anger and replacing it with her steady flow of calm, Lilith looked directly in the eyes of Cersei. Neutrality facing anger. Green meeting green. 

“This is my choice.” She said finally. “I won’t kill anyone here, this isn’t my world to taint, these are not my lives to ruin.”

Cersei’s anger melted away into something of distaste. It was the same face she made when she had smelt Jon Arryn’s room. Something inside Lilith crumbled at that.

“Suit yourself.” With that Cersei left the room quickly, never looking back and facing Lilith to stare at the bodies in front of her. And the spiked wood in her hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really nervous about this chapter gaaaa  
> Let me know what you think! Love a review, can’t get enough of them 
> 
> Love you all XXXXX


	11. Soap Opera Digest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Tyrion is now a wing man

By the time Jon Arryn and the Spy had woken up, Lilith had managed to tie them to their chairs. Inwardly, she had beamed at her strength and quietly wondered if she would be able to invent a gym in Kings Landing. Though she supposed she had enough practice now that she had been able to heave too annoyingly heavy men on seats. 

Magic had only helped a little.

Now, Lilith felt that the best way to deal with this situation wasn’t what Cersei had believed to be the only possible solution, (her stomach twisted in knots at the thought of her, her face crumbling in disgust and the dust that settled in her wake), but it wasn’t Lilith’s lazy option: leaving them there and facing the consequences.

So, when Jon Arryn lifted his sunken eyelids, Lilith allowed him to be met with her face, smiling down on him. A forced smile, but his eyes popped out of his head nonetheless.

“Jon! How are you? You’ve lost weight, it does wonders for your figure.”

He startled, taking consideration of his surroundings. There was a pang of regret on Lilith’s part for the state of the room, but that slowly dissipated when Jon opened his thin-lipped mouth.

“You- this is insolence! You- what are you? You have the temerity-”

“Thank you, hush.” She pressed her finger to his lips, lighting up when his scowl deepened. It wasn’t like she was having the time of her life either though. His mouth was moist.

“You’re a smart man, Jon. Very smart, it’s borderline arrogant really. But you crossed a line, thinking I wasn’t Robert’s daughter. Whether we get along or not, he is my family,” the only family she had in this place, for better or for worse. “And you tried to take that from me. So, I crossed a line too. I went into your room and confronted you about it. Then the Shudder happened; everything in the Keep started shaking, and you along with your spy hit your head. It was awful, you were hysterical you see, raving about unnatural appearances occurring, a white light coming from my hand! How odd. You were so delusional I had to tie you up in case you harmed anyone, and thankfully, you never did.”

The silence in the room was palpable. Jon’s face was practically stone, she knew that to try and decipher his inner thoughts would be near impossible, and Lilith hoped that she herself looked the same from his point of view.

Things were…different now. While she had never associated herself in this world entirely, there was always some sort of attachment to it. Perhaps it was due to her upcoming role that Robert wanted her to play, a pawn in the chessboard even before her legitimisation. But after her words with Cersei, there had been an epiphany. How could she harm these people when they were disjointed from her so profoundly? She was no longer in the chessboard but rather an observer from afar. Not controlling the pieces, but simply watching the events unfold. And since she was in this new, shiny position, the only way Lilith knew forward was to correct the ingrained stains that she had placed in her life here, as soon as humanly possible.

Hopefully, Jon would make this easier.

After a while of a staring contest, Jon spoke. “I do not understand your motivations here. First you argue that I am little more than a liar, and now you betray your moral high ground with this utter nonsense. It is clear you have no idea of where you stand.”

Lilith nodded in total agreement. “That basically sums me up.”

Jon Arryn didn’t reply to that, simply looking at her with something akin to calculation fleeting through his eyes, mixed with caution, as if she were a wild animal. Though Lilith furrowed her brows when she noticed that the terror written across his face when she had stormed in his room earlier and used her magic was void.

“You don’t seem afraid of me.”

“Why would I be? When my room started to quake, I became delusional, thinking I saw white lights stream from your fingertips.” His expression was mocking, but once again all Lilith could do was nod.

“What will you tell your spy?”

“What you told me. It matters not, he is of little relevance now.”

“And Robert?”

“You mean your father? That I was injured, I suppose. The quake that…occurred, I take it that by the ‘Shudder’, it spread throughout the castle?”

This time her nod was wary. “You know that if a rumour comes my way about me being some sort of magician, you’re who I’ll come to.”

There, in his stoic face, came about the fear that she had met before with him. 

“I understand, My Lady.”

She walked around the room as if she owned it, taking tips from Cersei’s manual. “I also want to know what you wrote in that letter.”

“What letter?”

“My spies informed me that you had a letter of some sort.”

This stoic bitch. “I have no idea what letter you speak of.”

Lilith outwardly groaned, looking at the ceiling as if it held all the answers. Or perhaps if one of the jagged pieces from said ceiling would fall on Jon Arryn’s head.

“You know what, I can’t be arsed with you right now. Get yourself and your mate out of that chair, I’m going out.” Despite his echoes of protest behind her, Lilith felt the corners of her mouth lift, and the spike of wood that she had been clutching the whole time slipped through her fingers and fell to the ground with a gentle clang.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was on the second week after the Quake that Lilith found herself in the library. 

It was unsurprising, really. Everyone around her only wanted to talk about the Shudder, with people going as far as to call it the Wrath of the Gods (a tad pretentious and a bit too dramatic for her liking, but that was that.) It wasn’t that Lilith didn’t feel any sort of guilt for the whole thing, no. She had spent the last weeks going into town and helping families whose houses had been wrecked, nothing was too damaged, but some houses needed proper maintenance. When Robert had found out about her escapades he enforced a guard on her when she was going on the outings. Once to her displeasure she had had a whole day with Ser Barristan Selmy. That was the equivalent of awkward silences combined with distrustful looks and bemused glances.

Ugh.

That being said, Lilith had loved her outings. She met new people, and it was to her great pleasure that none of them were stuck up snobs like every other person in the Keep. Many of them were kind, beautiful people who treated her with respect, and of course vice versa. Some had even been calling her the Black Princess, after she had one day emerged out of a cottage practically dipped in dirt. All in all, it felt like a community, one that she was on the outskirts of. As per usual.

Jon Arryn for now seemed to have remained true to his word. Robert had welcomed him back in Court after the Hand had explained his injuries to the King. The Spy on the other hand wasn’t seen anywhere, but Lilith didn’t have the heart to find out where he’d been sent.

And as for Cersei…

Well, truth be told, Lilith was avoiding her. She had heard Cersei knock at her door a few times, had seen her face in Court staring daggers at her, but Lilith had hidden under her bed and ignored her. It wasn’t that she wanted to, no, Lilith wanted…well, she wasn’t completely sure, but it was definitely to have some sort of chat. But she had seen Cersei’s face in their fight, the way she looked at her. It was similar to what Petunia had looked like in her direction, it was what Dolores Umbridge had appeared as to her. Lilith hated that look, and if she saw that again it would be too soon. Hence the avoiding. Hence the library.

Hence the creepy, creepy library.  
She took a book out from a lower part of the shelf stacks, unbothered to climb up a ladder and the reach the actual good books. Instead Lilith saw in her hands The History of the Dothraki and blew a raspberry in frustration.

“Terrible read, I agree. Mayhaps you would find something that won’t bore you do death?”

Lilith gave a small yelp, (not a shriek, a yelp,) and turned to find none other than Lord Tyrion in her midst, a bemused smile on his face.

“Give a girl a warning, Lord Tyrion.”

“I just did. Best not read that under any circumstances.” He eyed the book that was now on the floor.

“Witty. Have you been following me?” No other times in her visit to the library had he been there, and now he was just lazing about? Or maybe she was just way too suspicious for her own good.

He raised an eyebrow. “Why on earth would I be following you, Lady Lilith?”

“I dunno. It’s probably just me. Kings Landing is making me paranoid.”

“Good, better that than ignorance. Though I have heard of your adventures with the people. Apparently, if I heard correctly, you fell off a roof while dancing?”

“Well, it’s hard to dance when it’s a crooked roof, Tyrion.”

He dipped his head forward, though it was clear he didn’t really understand. “I see.”

“Are my adventures famous now, My Lord?” The words left her mouth bitterly, not enjoying any sort of attachment to any sort of fame.

“Yes. The people seem to love you, have you heard their name for you? The Black Princess?”

She gave out an unlady like snort. “Bit much, isn’t it?” It was sweet though, that they cared enough to have a special name for her.

But Tyrion’s gaze was piercing, and as for usual with the Lannisters, she didn’t understand or know what he was thinking. She shuffled her feet awkwardly when no new words were brought to the table, when she finally came to a realisation.

“You are here for me.”

Now it was Tyrion’s turn to look awkward. “Yes, it seems that way. My sister is not the most…charming, of people.”

Lilith rolled her eyes. “Did she send you to come appease me?”  
“Gods no, my sister doesn’t speak to me let alone ask me to do something for her. No. It was Jaime who asked this of me.”

“What?”

“Yes, apparently my dear sister has been in a vicious mood for quite some time. The amount of time that you have been absent in your position as a Lady in Waiting.” It did make sense, seeing as Cersei was left unprotected after a sealed deal, that would annoy her too. But oh well.

“That is odd.”

“Quite.”

She huffed, folding her arms across her chest even though his words had made them want to fidget. “You want me to talk to her?”

“If I may be blunt, I really could care less. What you do in your free time is none of my business nor my concern. But from what I’ve gathered, you and Cersei have a most unusual relationship. I actually think she might…like you. In a fashion.”

Of course, it would seem that way, Lilith thought. You couldn’t outwardly detest someone who was protecting you and your children from harm. Still, the thought was oddly comforting. Lilith had missed being liked.

“Does she want a round of applause?”

“I think it is what Jaime wants. For her to preferably be a more pleasant individual.”

“That will take years, if that. She might be lost to this world.”

His lips quirked up, amused. 

“Besides, why doesn’t Jaime come ask me this himself? If he’s so concerned?”

“Jaime is under the impression that you don’t seem to like him very much.”

“Ah, no, that’s true.”

Tyrion’s smile grew.

“But still, bit cowardly of him.”

“I’ve also been told that I’m the more persuasive of the brothers. He inherited the looks, and I the brains.” Tyrion said, as if quoting something that had been said many times before.

“That’s also true.” She conceded.  
“So, you’ll talk to her.” Though his voice was encouraging, Lilith could tell he could not give less of a shit about the outcome. Her respect for him grew a few hundred notches.

“I might.”

He grinned, triumphant. “Then it seems my work here, is done.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As per usual, Lilith found Cersei in the gardens. The woman was sitting on a stool while inspecting a flower, though it was clearly for show, seeing as she twisted the stem too roughly and gazed at the plant with zero interest in her face. Around her, her Ladies in Waiting were each talking to her in rapid breaths, and Lilith could hear the nasally pitched bitch shrieking her voice as high as humanly possible. If she was one of the guards around them, hell, if she was Cersei, she would have throttled the bitch by now.

As she approached, she saw the Ladies in Waiting’s faces snap up to greet her. Two of them sneered. The other two watched her with anticipation. The latter were her preferred option.

“I’m here to speak with the Queen. In private,” she added when they just didn’t move.

“The Queen will speak with you when she wishes to speak with you.” Snapped Two, growing red in the face apparently simply from Lilith’s presence alone.

“The Queen can speak for herself.” Came Cersei’s calm reproach, eyes never leaving the flower. “Leave us.” Once more, two of them gaped, while the other two after a quick curtsy left the gardens with speed. Leaving Lilith, Cersei and the two guards in their wake.

It was quiet for a while. Cersei addressed Lilith with a cold stare, and Lilith assessed Cersei. Nothing seemed to be different, she looked the same. Same elaborate hair-do, same stunning type of red dress, same unconditional beauty. Lilith didn’t think Jaime was right about Cersei after all.

“Step ten feet ahead.” The guards seemed to know she was talking to them, as they did what she said without hesitation. Then, in a softer tone, Cersei spoke to Lilith. 

“You are meant to follow the terms of our agreement. You are my supposed protector; how dare you not take my demands seriously.” Her words were quiet, but they were practically hissed. And all at once, Lilith realised that she had really fucked up.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Is this all a joke to you?” Cersei snapped. “Last time I saw you, and not meaning the times in Court where you refused to look my way, no, the last time I saw you, I had thought you left that personal of yours behind. Speak to me without this pseud, I would prefer that, immediately.”

Now it was Lilith’s turn to snap. “Don’t speak to me like a child, Cersei. I understand I fucked up, but how could I face you? How could we work together when we were so divided in our beliefs?” 

“Our beliefs were not to come into unity with our roles, child”, she spat. “You are supposed to protect me, you are supposed to be there. I helped you, I had everything solved, and you decided to throw away my advice but of your deep-rooted arrogance and pathetic self-righteousness.”

“It isn’t self-righteous to not want to kill anyone. And deep-rooted arrogance isn’t that either, it’s thinking that you can solve any problem you want because of who you are, that is vile.”

Cersei’s face twisted, a snarl dripping from her expression. “Who are you, to tell me that? A few months ago, you were little more than a bastard.”

“Yes, and now you know what I’m capable of, and you’re still trying to piss me off.” But Lilith wasn’t angry. In fact, a part of her was enjoying this, this game of verbal tennis. It had been a while that she had sparred with someone like this, with no offense brought to the table. Lilith wondered how Cersei felt about that.

“Oh, threatening me then? Funny that, how you refuse to kill, yet you swing threats around as if you are a child first learning how to wield a sword.”

“You keep calling me a child, I am much older than you, believe me.”

“How old.”

“An old woman.”

“That is disgusting.”

“Oi!”

Just like that, the tension in their surroundings eased, both Cersei and Lilith letting go of the argument to instead size each other up. Lilith’s back felt looser and more flexible. She noticed the flower Cersei had been holding had fallen to the floor forgotten. Finally, Lilith decided to be the one to break the consuming silence.

“I won’t do it again, you know.”

“You would be wise not to.”  
Lilith wondered if she would get whiplash from all the nodding she had been doing lately. She wondered how Cersei manage to pull off the disinterested incline of her head. Maybe she’d ask her later.

But for now, Cersei rose from where she had been perched, and as they had done many times before, Cersei took her arm and linked it with Lilith’s as they left the garden and the argument behind them.

And while they walked back together, shoulders brushing, Lilith realised something: that it was not her whereabouts that made her feel freer, but it was the company she was with that added to her relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to note, Jaime does not see anything between Cersei and Lilith, he just wants his sister to be happy kinda
> 
> Also please leave a review! I really love them, they keep me going with this fic, and we're in this for the LONG RIDE GET READY TIS ONLY JUST BEGUN


	12. What's in the Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Westeros best be quaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness I had something called ReAl LIfE which SUckEd BaLls and I was not equipped for it so there
> 
> But I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! Honestly I'm just glad you've all stuck with this ride and have actually read this!! Crazy
> 
> Also! Any lines you recognise not made up by me!

“No”, Cersei groaned for the fifth time, clearly beginning to be bored of the topic. “My hair is not made of actual _gold._ ”

“Well it must be.” Lilith huffed, amused at the Queen’s frustration. “It’s just so _gold_. I don’t understand any other solution.” 

“Are you saying my hair is a _problem_ , then, child?”

“You know this _child_ business. Getting old.” And then Lilith let out a light chuckle at her non-intended pun, also taking delight in Cersei’s stone-faced expression. Though it morphed into one of satisfaction once she spoke again.

“Act like something other than a child, and I will reconsider my perception of you.”

Cersei’s eyes twinkled once Lilith frowned, clearly gaining some delight in Lilith’s pouting and furthering Lilith’s thought process that Cersei was so _annoying_. Honestly, she thought, _could the woman for once in her life just not get the last word?_

“You’ve seen me do _magic_! That’s not _child friendly_!” Though in Lilith’s experience, this was both true and false. Hogwarts had been a weird time, when looking back on the whole.

“What would you have me call you then? _Menacing fool? Conundrum? Foolish atrocity?”_

“How about none of those things, if that ever crossed your mind. I’m thinking step daughter, light of my life, sun that never sets…”

“Ah, you would have me lie then.”

“Oh fuck off.”

Cersei appeared smug at her dismay, continuing to drink from her, quite frankly, enormous goblet of wine. Honestly, it was like the woman had never seen water before or didn’t realise day drinking was slightly frowned upon. Though she _was_ the Queen, and she lived with Robert, though if Cersei was influenced by his drinking tendencies or was driven to drinking by him, Lilith had no idea.

“That kind of language toward the Queen is punishable. Incredibly punishable. Lashings, death, even.”

“I’m _quaking._ ”

From across the room, Cersei picked up a quill and parchment from where she sat in front of her desk, having apparently gotten bored of Lilith’s sass. _Her loss_. “Perhaps it would be best if there was silence from here on. Allow me to enjoy some peace for once.”

Lilith sank further into her chair, just knowing it was pissing Cersei off that a _proper lady wouldn’t act like that of a beggar_ , because _fine._ If she was going to have some silence, then she wouldn’t be the one to break it. She’d just irritate the Queen into snapping noise out her smug Lannister mouth. Game on. 

“You’re breathing too loud.”

Never mind.

Lilith huffed and stared at the ceiling of Cersei’s chambers in a silent plea for help with the so-called gods. If there was even the slightest chance they were real, she would be having words with the fuckers, primarily the question of why they would join these two women in something close to _friendship_. Ugh.

Crossing her arms across her chest, Lilith haughtily replied, “breathing is a basic human right. And you clearly did _not_ want silence, barely lasted five seconds.”

Cersei never stopped writing, instead producing a sigh of long suffering and once again not bothering a response. The room descended into quietness, though Lilith entertained the thought of tapping or fiddling or even breathing slightly louder than usual. Angering Cersei was definitely on her list of Favourite Things to do, most likely in the top five.

“What are you writing?”

Cersei sighed again, as if Lilith’s innocent question was the bane of her existence. “A letter to my father.”

Lilith perked up. “Your father? _Tywin Lannister_?”

“That would be his name, yes.”

“What are you writing to him about?” 

This time, Cersei rested the quill in the ink, reading through her work as she absentmindedly continued the conversation. “I update him on court matters. Of course my father has spies of his own, but it is always imperative that he has all the angles of the situation necessary to make judgement.” Her words sounded rehearsed, as if she had heard them many, many times.

“So you’re a spy for your father?”

Cersei’s eyes snapped to Lilith instantly after those words left her mouth, her lips tightening and her expression stone cold. It was odd; one misplaced comment could provoke a stale air in the room, as if Cersei could control the atmosphere with a simple lift of her eyebrow or upturn of her upper lip. Strangely, rather than feeling fear at the Queen’s icy visage, she felt a touch of admiration.

“I do not spy. I am too high up in this Game to spy. Leave me, I wish to be alone, and your presence is….provoking.”

“I aim to please,” was all Lilith said before she picked herself off the oddly uncomfortable chair and walked to the door. Before she left though, Lilith noticed Cersei placing the Lannister seal on the letter, and it was only the slight halt in her fingers when sealing the paper did the witch realise the Queen had hesitated in her actions.

  

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Do you want to get married?”

Lilith looked at Myrcella who was happily snuggled in her warm blankets on her bed. The young witch put down the book she was previously reading to her sister and looked at her with what she knew was inquisitively, peering at her form where they both lay.

“Why do you ask, Cella?”

The blonde went bashful, nibbling on her lower lip. Lilith always noticed Myrcella would have nervous ticks around her. At first, she had been terrified that her own sister was scared of her, but she realised that Myrcella carried herself differently around others because she felt she had a reputation to uphold, or something along the lines of that. What she did know was that she was Myrcella’s safe space, and that…that was warming. 

“Well, I remember when the Bolton family were coming, and you were angry. Don’t worry, I don’t think it was obvious! You just sat up really straight, and your jaw did that thing that Uncle Jaime’s does too. Like,” Myrcella gritted her teeth together with force, “that. Oh! And also you didn’t eat a lot of bacon that day. Tommen ate more than you, and he doesn’t even _like_ bacon that much.”

Lilith nodded when thinking about that day. She remembered the anger coursing through her veins, the desperation thumping in her heart like a mantra, _I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home_. Briefly, she noted that the mantra had lost potency, but she put that thought to the side as she’d been doing a lot lately with any fleeting idea that came through her mind. 

“I was angry, yeah.”

Myrcella looked satisfied at being right (Lilith saw Cersei in that expression and had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes while cackling), but she also seemed confused at that. “Why?”

Lilith blinked. “What do you mean?”

Myrcella’s confusion expanded. “Doesn’t everyone want to get married? I’m going to be married in hopefully less than ten summers. Mother and I are going to get the most beautiful dress, and she’ll do my hair the way she has it done. You can help if you want.”

A part of Lilith wanted to keep Myrcella thinking that way. To shatter the illusion and force her sweet sister to taste the bitter pill of reality was cruel. But Harry had no impulse control, and Lilith didn’t either. “But there’s more to life than a pretty dress and hair, Myrcella! What if you don’t love the man you’re going to marry.”

Myrcella shook her head. “Of course I’ll love him. And he’ll love me. Uncle Jaime says he’ll only allow the best for me, and the best person will be one that _loves me_. I thought it was the same for you.” Now she looked at Lilith the way all the Lannisters had been recently, as if one look at her eyes would make her thoughts spill out into the open like tears. But Lilith hadn’t cried in a long time.

“No. Domeric was kind, thoughtful, genuine. But I don’t want to marry someone I just _get along with_. Honestly, I haven’t really thought about that kind of stuff here.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

The question was sudden and random, and it pulled Lilith out of whatever ramble she was about to partake in. Lilith’s jaw snapped shut and clenched it furiously.

“You’re doing the jaw thing! Have I made you angry?” Myrcella sounded upset.

“What? No, of course not!” Lilith reassured, taking her sisters hand in hers. “It just took me by surprised, is all. Why would you ask me that?”

“I don’t know. You just seem like you have.”

Red hair. Wide eyes. A beaming smile. _There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for_.

“I was, once.”

Myrcella went from lying down to sitting up alert all in the span of a second. “Who was he?! Was he a Lord? A farmer? Oh Lilith, that is so romantic! Is that why you didn’t want to marry the Bolton man? Oh it is isn’t it!”

“Um, what? No, no, no, Cella, this was years ago. I was practically a different person.”

The blonde deflated at that, though she was still clearly curious. “What happened?” 

This time, all Lilith could do was gently take her hand from Myrcella’s and place them on her lap, as if cradling them from the world. Had things been different, maybe those hands would currently be somewhere else. Combing through red locks, stroking a freckly face, from an upturned nose to perky lips.

“I lost them.” Not just the flaming hair. Hermione's lecturing voice when she came home with stitches, Ron's enveloping warmth as he tugged her into his waiting arms. "I lost them all."

Myrcella furrowed her brows as if confused. “Will you find them again?”

Lilith took an intake of breath. “I don’t know anymore.”

It was silent in Myrcella’s chambers for some time, with the sound of rain outside being the only slight sound, if not considering the ragged breaths Lilith produced. Or the light gasp she made when she felt a warm hand take both her cold ones and giving them a tight squeeze, as if anchoring her gently. They stayed like that for a while.

 

 ----------------------------------------------------

 

It seemed that Lilith could never get a day off. Once she had returned to her chambers she was greeted with the sight of something she had been trying to shake off.

“Not now, Janick.”

But Janick was unperturbed. “I know you’ve been wanting space, and that’s fine, I accept that.” Lilith gave him a deadpan look, one that he didn’t even notice seeing as he kept barrelling on. “But I have to update you on all that’s been going on. You’re out of the loop, Lilith! Besides,” he cleared his throat, probably due to his awkward nature, Lilith guessed, “it’s nice to talk to a Solid. You’re the first I’ve ever spoken to.”

“See that’s where I have questions.” Lilith said, deciding to humour the boy and herself for a bit. “When I first saw you lot, you mentioned having spoken to a Solid before. Who were they?”

“I’m not really sure.” Janick muttered, looking disappointed in himself. “I mean, they all say there was this Solid who would always visit, you know? I know it was a she, and I know she stopped coming a while ago. But that’s it.”

Lilith pinched the bridge of her nose, hating the never-ending mystery of this place. No wonder everyone was so two faced, the air here made them so. “Alright, that’s enough mystery for today. What have you got to tell me?”

At this point, Janick brightened up again. “Two things! The first is Spy business, because it is our duty to cater to your whims, Lilith”-

“Creepy, don’t say that”-

“And the second topic is _amazing_. I’ll show you." 

Lilith wondered if she would ever be able to get rid of this child. She wondered if that was how Cersei felt about her, Merlin she hoped not. As much as the Queen called her child, it would be a punch to the stomach if Cersei actually saw her as one.

“Okeydokey. Lay it on me.”

He nodded eagerly. “Right. So, the people are talking about you a lot more than usual. You’re the Black Princess to them, they feel you love them and care about them, so they care about you.” He waggled his eyebrows teasingly. “They’re also comparing you to Joffrey.” 

“What?”

“They prefer you to him. They think you’re more in touch with the people, that you show kindness where he doesn’t. I mean, they _are_ right. You helped repair the houses that collapsed- I mean, I know you started it which is amazing you need to tell me all about that- but you still helped, you know? And Joffrey didn’t even _visit_ them. I think they’ve realised things. Important things.” 

Yep, that was definitely a migraine. What was happening? How could one act expand to something like this? Lilith didn’t have it in her to feel anything beyond incomprehension and smug validity. (It was also nice to have others know what a complete knob Joffrey really was.

“Well, that should be fine. I’ll be gone in a few months,” she ignored the weight that settled in the pit of her stomach, “and it will blow over. I’ll tell Cersei Joffrey needs to get a grip. Problem solved.”

Janick looked unconvinced, but his eyes sparkled with excitement in their depths. Ah yes. The Second Point.

“What was the other thing, Janick?” 

He _beamed._ “I have to show you something.”

\--------------------------------------------- 

They walked for a long while deep into the Keep. Lilith was surprised by the amount of layers the Keep actually had, doors opening new doors, opening tunnels, open fucking _everything_. She had felt a pang of grief at the dragon skeletons, angered at their remains since someone had felt it right to keep their bones for show, as if in a zoo.

Hermione would have had a screaming match at the person who made it so. 

Lilith also was not one for getting unnecessarily scared, but dear Merlin, the rooms were practically a new level of dark. She had to rely on the slight glow of Janick the deeper and deeper they got, not wanting her breathing to be her sole focus. Besides, he hadn’t shut up since they left.

“Ever since I died I’ve been exploring here.” He said matter of factly after about a half hour of his _long_ ramblings. “It was my dream when I was little to live in the Keep. My best mate always said I was stupid for wanting that since I’m not royalty and I don’t look like the Baratheons. So I said at least I’m good looking, ‘cause I always thought she resembled a rat’s arse. And when I said that she kicked me in the shin.”

“I think you lost track of what your point was,” Lilith commented bemusedly.

“Right, yes, yes. So when I died, I explored _everywhere_ in the Keep. I know this place extremely well; every room is practically a friend. But for all my looking I wasn’t _seeing_. I would look in a banquet hall and notice the decorations, but I never really noticed the people. So I decided to change that, and I did some peeking." 

They came to a halt, Janick’s light showing an old collapsed door. It was dusty and uninviting, appearing to have many splinters in the sharp wood. It was a useless door, and Lilith with no ounce of shame kicked it down easily and efficiently with her boot.

Janick looked approving. “Very nice.”

“Thank you.”

Going into the room, Lilith couldn’t make out much. Suddenly, a thought crossed Lilith’s mind that made her realise her stupidity. With thoughts of her loved ones in mind, of Hermione’s wit and Ron’s protectiveness and Ginny’s love, a swirl of fire appeared in the palm of her hand. It wasn’t strong, it wasn’t particularly effective, but it was the most beautiful act Lilith had performed in a long while and it heated a warm fire both in her palm and her soul. 

“That’s beautiful.”

She nodded at Janick’s awe, pleased at the validation. “It is, isn’t it?” 

For a while they simply gazed at the fire, until Lilith remembered why she was here. Looking round the slightly brighter room, she noted there was nothing there, but a black suited…box would be the best description for it. It looked almost metallic, and was carved in markings, words that Lilith had never seen before swirling across the black in contrast. Lilith ran her finger across the lines, mesmerised by the beauty of something so simple.

“Is this what you wanted to show me,” came Lilith’s voice, husky from her newly dry throat. Janick grinned, gesturing with his head at her. “Open it!”

Lilith pursed her lips. “You brought me down here to open a box? That’s it?” 

“Well I can’t open it myself, can I? Besides this isn’t just a _box._ This is a box that hasn’t been opened in _years_! This is a _hidden_ _room,_ it’s a _hidden box_! Are you not _curious_?” His tone was beseeching and exciting and infectious and Lilith couldn’t help but grin at him in anticipation, because this was a _hidden box_ in a _hidden room_. Curiosity killed the cat but Lilith seemed to be having no failure in the Life Department, and if cats had nine lives she would have thousands simply just because that was who she was.

Looking at the box, she inspected it for any key holes, and much to her new luck, found none. Smiling, she opened the box with ease, and felt her lips go from a grin into a gape.

Inside the box lay a sphere, covered in what appeared to be shiny scales of the colour black, intricately woven around the oval shaped ball in a design more beautiful than the box itself. Picking up the sphere, Lilith noticed it was cold and neglected, but there were no cracks or dents that ruined its beauty. And though Lilith had not immersed herself into the history of Westeros for fear of getting too attached, she would be a fool not to realise she was in the presence of a dragons egg.

   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What you thinkkk??
> 
> Let me know! As you all know, I'm a review whore *hint hint


	13. The beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Cersei has Queenly skills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TO ANYONE READING IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!! Annoyingly late I mean over?! A?! Month?! Thats awful I can only apologise and in return give you a lil bit of Cersei and Lilith! In one of my shortest chapters. Possibly shortest ever. Yeahhh I can only apologise
> 
> But this fic will never be abandoned!! Touch wood and all that, but I will never willingly leave this fic to dust it will be finished CERSEI AND LILITH WILL FIND LOVE DAMN IT
> 
> Also I neeeeeeed to tell you how thrilled you guys have made me at the response of this fic. I really didn't see this fic as reading material (lmao author of the year everybody i inspire confidence all around) but people have read and enjoyed it and that makes me so happy, so truly thank you 
> 
> I. LOVE. YOU. ALL.

When Lilith looked back on her childhood, nothing particularly came to mind.

In all honesty, it was something of a blur. Banquets, feasts, dances; they all saw the young girl in a corner, a book in one hand and a drink in the other. Of course, though being a fully-grown woman in the body of a toddler was traumatic to say the least, Lilith had been in worse situations. If anything, she was a tad _cocky_ for the first few years, assuming she would go back home in a jiffy and have a fun story to tell everyone. (She would eventually be slapped in the face by reality, but all in good time.) 

But when looking in at the blur that was a small and porcelain-like little Lilith Waters childhood, perhaps her first memory that stood out was her encounter with the Queen.

She had been skipping through the halls at the tender age of eight, (the banquet had been _incredibly_ dull, and she was a restless child, sue her), a mischievous grin on her face when looking back at the shocked gasps behind her from old noble snobs who thought skipping was out of order, _Merlin_ , when she had the breath knocked out of her suddenly as she collided with a body. Falling flat on her arse with a wince, Lilith looked up at the source of her current problem-

And saw green eyes flashing in anger down at her. The greenest of greens, forest green, a forest with never-ending green green green. Lilith knew that in her past life her eyes had been complimented almost as much as her face, that many were afraid of direct contact- they were so emerald and bright. But she had brushed it off with a tight smile, convinced it was mindless flattery. She now knew, if her eyes were anything like the woman in front of her, then she had been wrong.

“Lilith isn’t it?” The woman began, her voice so soft and soothing Lilith knew for a fact she could sing melodies, probably draw in animals at the start of a song. Was there anything the woman couldn’t do? She’d find out.

Hastily, Lilith nodded, still out of breath but for a different reason.

The woman hummed, looking at her up and down as if microscopes existed in Westeros.

“Robert’s bastard?”

“That’s me!” She gave the Woman a bright smile, getting up on her feet and wiping dust from her dress, all the while staring at _all the green_.

The Woman hummed once more, seemingly content for further scrutiny, not that Lilith minded.

“A bastard,” the Woman said again, as if she was spelling something out to Lilith. That made her frown. Had she done something wrong?

“That’s. _Me_.” She replied in the same tone, slightly irritated at how boring the conversation was getting. There was so much to ask her! Was her hair spun with real gold? Lilith knew it wasn’t the case, but with hair so shiny she had to hazard _some_ supernatural guess. 

The Woman scowled, her face falling, and though she was still beautiful, Lilith knew a smile would perfect her face even more.

“A bastard, who believes that scouring the halls like some mad woman is appropriate. Robert never taught any of his bastards’ decorum,” the last part was muttered gently, the Woman clearly talking more to herself than Lilith. It was time for Lilith to scowl. 

“I’m not a mad woman.” Lilith argued hotly, her face beginning to flush.

“No, not a mad woman.” She saw Lilith’s hot face with a small smirk, making the flush deepen. “A _northern savage_ , perhaps.”

The former witch didn’t even know why she was getting so angry at this. She had heard a lot worse in both lives combined. She even knew for a fact that a group of girls were waiting outside in the gardens to try and make her cry. (Lilith saw it as a new version of _Harry Hunting_ , though with much less effort put in to rile her up.) She didn’t know why anger was flaring within her, a building scream forming in her throat. 

“If you’re so familiar with northern savages, why don’t you go live with them?”

The Woman gave out a soft chuckle, and yes, fine, it lightened up her face and yes, fine, she was even more beautiful when her rose tinted lips parted to reveal her perfect teeth. But Lilith did notice that the smile looked forced, as if it wasn’t often it happened. It didn’t even reach her eyes.

“Yes, you’re certainly Robert’s. Such a vicious temper, squawking away. A little vicious duckling.”

“Who _are you_? Why are you so obsessed with my father?” She felt her arms cross her chest defensively, and her chin jut out as if ready for an attack.

The Woman gave her a mocking grin. “I am your Queen.”

The flush came back full force, going from the roots of her hair to the ends of her toes, she was mortified. This was Cersei Lannister! This was her step mother! Merlin’s arse, what had she done? 

Another laugh rang through the now empty halls, though this one sounded sincerer. “No, I didn’t think you did know me. I never have associated myself with bastards, and gods forbid they let them in court!” The ghost of a chuckle came out as cruel. “Have you even been given schooling lessons?” 

All Lilith’s scolding on herself vanished for her previous indecency, leaving behind disgust for the woman that was supposedly married to her father. She decided to give as good as she got.

“Well they were going to, but my father told me the lessons didn’t work.” She lied, looking the Queen down to all the way up. “I now know why he believes that.”

“You are a _spitfire_.” The Queen noted, her mouth presented in a pleasant grin, but Lilith was perceptive. She saw her eyes flash in irritation, as if Lilith was an insect she just couldn’t squash. “I do wonder where your future lies. Will you be married off? Used as a tool for an alliance. Or,” the Queen stepped into Lilith’s Personal Space, each step menacing, “Will you be left to the side, a reflection of your irrelevance?”

“Irrelevance any day.” Lilith commented, being truthful this time.

“I would hope not for your sake, “her tone dripped in false sympathy. “ _Horrible_ things can happen to those who aren’t remembered.”

“And to those who her.” Lilith said matter of factly, smiling sweetly. The air had become so thick that surely anyone who entered would feel suffocated? Lilith certainly did. It only lessened slightly when the Queen gave her another tight smile (it came across more as a sneer, really) and kept on walking, never looking back, as if she could see Lilith staring at the slight sway of her hips no matter how far she was from Lilith’s sight.

So, no, her childhood was mainly a blur. But it was memories like these, little reminders of her and Cersei’s past relationship (if one could even call it that), that made her think that out of all the things she could tell her, finding a dragon egg was not one of them

 

\----------------------

 

“You’ve been anxious for a while now”, Cersei commented on the third week of Lilith’s Secret Keeping Timeline. “I have been willing to ignore it, since it is difficult to care for your problems. However, it is getting increasingly irritating, and I want it to stop.”

“We all _want_ things, Cersei.” Lilith said absentmindedly, staring out the window. She had been rather torn in the past few weeks, not knowing what to do with the dragon egg that was just lying in the abandoned chamber. The rational part of Lilith knew no one would find it, no one had been there in what looked like years, but when had Lilith been rational? Her mindset was a _clusterfuck._

If there was a sound for rolling one’s eyes, Lilith was sure it was heard in the silence she held between her and Cersei. But Lilith was resolute in looking out the window, almost able to see the reconstruction she had been working on in the town for the few months since the Quake.

“You’re evading the question.”

“There was no question. You just demanded I tell you things.”

“Ah, so there is something to tell.” Cersei laid back on her armchair, smug. When wasn’t she?

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.”

Lilith clapped slowly. “Someone missed their calling as a poet.”

If Cersei was capable of huffing, Lilith knew she would have done it by now. Instead she showed a deep scowl etched on her face, and Lilith had to discretely clench her hands into fists to prevent herself from reaching out to Cersei and smoothing the unhappy lines. She then had to keep clenching to distract herself from _that_ thought process. 

“If you’re going to act like a child”- 

“Well, technically I _am_ sixteen”-

\- “Then you can forget this topic of discussion. I have no intention of squabbling with a toddler.”

Lilith groaned, placing her hands on her face in pure frustration. She wanted to tell Cersei, she did, but everything she opened her mouth to tell her it immediately shut. Lilith knew it was her instincts that prevented anything tumbling out her mouth, and Lilith always trusted her instincts. But she spent every day with Cersei, and Cersei knew something was up the moment she had seen Lilith, she just knew it. One second Lilith had burst in the room forcing a non-chalant smile, and the next thing she knew Cersei had narrowed her eyes, pursed her lips, and like a switch resumed to writing her letter. Lilith had been relieved for the patience, but apparently, that had worn thin.

“This coming from the woman who speaks to Joffrey every day.”

Cersei rose from her chair with practised ease before going to the shelf to pick up a book. To anyone else it seemed natural, but Lilith knew Cersei. It was an intimidation tactic, a way to show off her poise and power that flowed around her like strong perfume.

“Do not speak of my son that way.” Cersei’s back was turned to Lilith, tense.

Lilith conceded. “Okay.” She wouldn’t apologise, but wouldn’t discuss him again to show she was sorry. Though she hated Joffrey, if Teddy had been a little arsehole and someone had insulted _him_ , shit would have royally hit the fan. “I’ll tell you soon, but give me time, yeah?” 

Cersei turned back around, book in hand, and gave her a stiff nod. “Very well. As long as it does not concern me or my children?”

“Nope. You’re fine and dandy. Tommen’s adorable, Myrcella’s Myrcella, and Joffrey…is the future King.”

Cersei gave her a hard glare before sighing and walking back to her previous spot and began to read her book. After a few minutes it was only inevitable that Lilith would start a conversation, this one being one that Lilith had wondered for a while. 

“Cersei?”

“Duckling?”

“I’ve done this a lot. Stayed with you while you do something boring. Why do you tell me to stay?”

Cersei continued to read her book, but the tightening grip on the back of the book told Lilith she was listening.

“The deal was you were to protect me. Where else is better than my own chambers, where I am most vulnerable.”

“But you could have made me stand outside and called my name. Or you could have made me stay with Myrcella or Tommen, even Joffrey. Why am I _here_?”

Cersei shut the book with a snap, page number apparently irrelevant. “Do you not want to be here?” She questioned waspishly.

“No, I do!” Lilith said, aware she sounded too serious for her liking and surprised she was actually being honest. Huh. “I’m just curious why you do, that’s all.”

“It may come as a surprise to you, Lilith, that anyone could come from outside the Keep and climb up to my chambers to _assassinate me.”_ Cersei told her condescendingly, but it sounded a touch too defensive for Lilith to think she was being entirely sincere. “And that appearances mean everything. When you left as my Lady in Waiting, it reflected negatively on my Queenly skills.”

_Queenly skills._ The fuck?

“Therefore, it is impertinent that you remain with me as my consort, as it will allow me to appear in a favourable light.”

“I didn’t understand any of that.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.” Cersei waved a hand dismissively.

“All I’m hearing are excuses. You clearly adore my charming company.”

It was as if Cersei didn’t hear her. She opened her book back at a random page, clearly not giving a shit about the reading contents.

“It is a price I am willing to pay for my safety.” But a slight corner of her lip had lifted up, as if she too didn’t believe her own words, or didn’t bother to care to.

Lilith beamed, and something in her chest _tugged._

\--------------------------------

Surprisingly, of all people to ruin her day, it was Varys.

“My lady, it is good to see your face again.”

Lilith glanced around her in confusion, aware that it was only him and her in the garden together but confused. He still remembered her name? He remembered she existed? 

“It’s a forgettable face. Though you would know I suppose.” Her attempts to tease were met with Varys bowing his head down in well-practised shame. Lilith raised an eyebrow in return, and he in turn replied with a respectful incline of his head. It was the longest non-verbal conversation she had had in a long time, (Hermione had always been spectacular at those.) 

“If we could perhaps take a walk in the gardens?”

She let out a bark of laughter. “Is that your go to secret meeting place? Cause last time we had one, one of Cersei’s spies told her.”

A slight widen of Varys’ eyes showed her his shock. Though Lilith knew he knew that Cersei knew, (who in Westeros didn’t know, was Lilith’s question), it was obvious he was surprised by her raw honesty. That made her happy, to know she was resisting Westeros’ attempts to be a fake bitch.

“You and Cersei speak often, then. She being your Lady in Waiting, after all.”

They began to walk to the garden, relatively hushed tones between them.

“I had to talk to someone. You ran off as soon as I spoke of magic.” She noticed Varys fight his rigid stance with a feeling of victory. Lilith wasn’t in the mood for him, months without speaking and now he chose to catch up? What did he want? 

“Words cannot describe my regret.” Varys said with an air of sincerity that Lilith refused to buy. “But it seems that you were busy. You attended one of Robert’s council sessions. You have become a Lady in Waiting to the Queen, you have even repaired the houses within town. The people have a love for you that hasn’t been seen in years.” 

The name Rhaegar Targaryen was not said, but it was practically uttered in the silence between them.

“There have been whispers of you making a fine Queen. These whispers are beginning to become words, my Lady.”

Lilith gaped at him, her mouth parted in shock. Of course, it was nothing serious, but to have people believe she was fit to be queen was genuinely shocking.

“Joffrey is the future heir.” She managed after a few moments of trying to form a coherent thought. 

Varys’ expression gave nothing away. “Indeed.” 

Lilith began to feel anger. “Why tell me this? What was your plan? To have me look like this?" She gestured to her forming glare.

He gave her a considering look, before exhaling. “If what I hear about you and the Queen is correct, then I am taking a risk with these words.” 

Lilith furrowed her eyebrows and knew there was urgency in her eyes, telling him to go on.

He did. “It would be in your best interest not to trust Queen Cersei.”

She stepped back, feeling as if she had been slapped in the face. Her words came out dry, as if you had gulped all the saliva from her mouth. “I don’t understand.”

Varys pressed on, undeterred. “I do not know what deal you and the Queen have struck up, but I have been told the Queen is manipulating you for her own gain.”

Well, Lilith knew that, didn’t she? They had a deal, Lilith would protect her, and Cersei would secretly take her to Dragonstone. Wasn’t that it? 

The witch gritted her teeth. “Your spies tell you that.”

“I am unable to tell you how I acquired this information. But I know it to be true.” The look he gave her was sad, almost. As if he pitied her. Well, fuck that. 

“I was having a nice night, Lord Varys.” She replied, curling her toes in attempts to not kick him. “Thank you.”

He was a smart man for a reason, Varys managed to get the hint and began to walk away. Not before pausing to turn to Lilith with a serene expression. “I understand you have your reasons not to trust me. I wouldn’t either. But you must realise; my spies noted me of the people’s adoration of you little but a few weeks ago. Do you not believe that Cersei’s would have informed her of the same knowledge? There is also the question, that if Cersei has not allowed you to discover this information, what else has she not informed you of?”

It was a long while before Varys’ words left her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No dragon madness this chapter sorry but back soon, along with Lilith's friends and Jaime! Which always makes me happy  
> If anyone was wondering where Varys went he's BACK fam rejoice our bold saviour returned to slap some SENSE into this fic  
> Also if anyones confused at all of Lilith's lil adventures, DONT WORRY it will all come together in a cute bow and hopefully will make sense (don't quote me on that)
> 
> LUV USE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN TOMORROW oooo let me know if anyones doing anything GOT related that would be sic


End file.
